Friday, March 18, 2005

CPC Rumble in Montreal

Whooee! Well sportsfans, this here's the main event we all been waitin' fer. The HarpoonTosser's bunch are havin' a big tribal gatherin' over in Q-beck. It's been about a year an' a haff since the so-con Alliance an' the progressive-con PC's cheapened the definition o' marriage by gettin' joined in unholy wedlock. All this time, Canajuns has been wonderin' what's what with this here new bunch they call the Conservative Party o' Canadee. Back last June when we had ourselves an election vote, nobuddy knew what the hell the CPC stood fer so the leftyLibs an' Laydown's DippyWips was able t' trot out the ol' "hidden agenda" scary stories.

I reckon that was Harpoon's own damn fault fer not gettin' up an' tellin' what they stood fer except mebbe he couldn't on accounta he don't even know hisself. With this bigass tent meetin' pow-wow goin' on in Montreal, the Con-men an' gals'll be able t' set Canajuns straight on where this here year-an'-a-haff-old party hangs its hat. From what I hear tell, though, StevieBoy ain't joinin' the fray an' he's jest standin' in the crowd watchin' his party turn ugly like when the Ringrose kids down the street's Ma an' Pa was away an' the cops showed up.

One story I seen in the Trawna Star was 'bout Queen Bee Linda the MagnaMama. I guess they wanted ol' B.Linda t' get up on her hind legs an' introduce some substitute flunky who's standin' in fer Johnny Tory the 'Tario PC bossman. Queen Bee sez she ain't jest a purty face an' she's got sum meat on her plate she wants t' talk about. B.Linda was fightin' with Harpoon an' that feller nobuddy remembers, Tony Inclementweatherman, a while back when they was pickin' out who's gonna steer the CPC ship. B.Linda lost. Harpoon won.

Harpoon's had his share o' numbnutses all tryin' t' stir up doo-doo an' make the so-cons in the CPC look like a buncha throwbacks in Chuck Darwin's evolutionary timeline. The latest horse's ass he's been pretendin' don't exist is this here Cheryl Gallant from up around Renfrew. Shee-it! This crybaby CherylGal sez she thinks Canadee is persecutin' Christians. Lord thunderin' Jeezuz! She wants t' see persecution, she oughta go visit Fartin' Martin's buddy boys in commonist Red China. They got sum fellers an' gals who Fall On Gongs an' who get rounded up an' turned inta slaves fer WalMarket by the commie reds. That's persecution, CherylGal. Makin' sumbuddy live next door t' a coupla married up queers ain't real persecution in my book.

Anyways, when the mainstreet media fellers asked Harpoon what's up with this nutjob Gallant, he jest sez nuthin' an' shrugs his shoulders like the ol' shrugmeister hisself, Pierre Troodough. Next thing, Harpoon'll be flippin' his middle finger at the mainstreeters.

I was jest over t' ol' Elvis's Egroup an' I see my boogin' buddy Don from Ottywa is postin' up boog stories from offa the floor o' the convention in Montreal. I ain't heard tell o' any other boogers who's right there at ringside but if I do, I'll post up a link t' their eyewitless reports.

Yores trooly,


Anonymous said...

I really hope these guys and gals get their act together. It would be really nice to at least have a potentially viable alternative to corruption and cronyism. Until then, I (and apparently lots of others) would rather deal with sponsorship scandals than a bunch of Cheryl Gallants/Elsie Waynes/Jason Kennys running the country. Canada is too diverse for religious fundamentalism to form the basis for decisions. "I'm right because god says I'm right" doesn't convince me of anything expect the speakers lack of intelligent reasoning. Hopefully these folks can realize they can hold views as narrow as they want, privately - but that Canada is to wide a country to be governed by those narrow views.

Oxford County Liberals said...

Its interesting to me about how there are a lot of people out there who grumble about the Liberals, but dont like the Tories... and yet none of them would consider voting for the NDP - a socially progressvie party if there was one (and with no baggage in uts drawers)

Not that I advocate that.. but its an interesting pheneomenon in a so-called liberally progressive country that more people dont look to the most socally responsible party on
the political spectrum.

JimBobby said...

Whooee! Yer right as rain, MonkeyGal. Big troublem fer Harpoon is the nutjobs showin' off t' the press what yammerin' fools they are. They ain't a party completely full o' barkin' mad idjits but they gotta few of 'em, no two ways.

nDippers's sailin' a sinkin' ship, Scottfeller. They're branded with the union label an' most fellers in the union don't even like the union. NDippers'll say they ain't in bed with the cigar-puffin' union bosses but don't believe it. Smart nDips's jumpin' t' Green.

Unless Harpoon uses this here convention t' show he's a viable leader runnin' a viable party, we can say hello t'another 20 years o' Big L gummints. AdScam's got Fartin' Martin smellin' like an old dog's fart. All StevieWonder needs t' do is look competent an' take charge o' his loose-lipped loose cannons.


Anonymous said...

Most of my friends and family do vote NDP - I usually do because social issues outrank fiscal ones for me. To me, NDP represents a better "conscience" for the government. The people I know who don't think of them as a liberal alternative feel like JimBobby - that they are too tight with the unions or will send the country into utter financial ruin. I hope the priorities of the NDP (especially those concerning the environment) do gain more ground in Canada. Uh oh...does that mean I am a "moonbat"? I guess really, the NDP and the Conservatives suffer the same difficulty - people percieve them as being too far from center - albeit in very different directions.

Anonymous said...

So...why do I hope the Cons get their act together? It seems to me that a large number of Canadians share conservative views. I just hate to see the legitimate aspects of their political position drowned out by all these nuts. I don't share most opinions held by people who vote conservative, but I still respect them, and I would rather they be represented by individuals who don't give me the willies - since, as Scott says - many looking for a liberal alternative will most likely look to the conservatives.

JimBobby said...

Whooee! TedwardBear, you an' yer boogin' partners gotta good thing goin' on with that all gorey WinniePoohBear stuff. I ain't a hunnert percents worth sure yer really roamin' on the convention floor. Turns out ol' Donfeller from Ottywa ain't really in Montreal but he's gotta spy in there feedin'm dirt.

RossK said...

Hey JBoogie--

I originally ignored this as wild speculation and substantially unsubstantiated rumour, but after that marriage amendment/statement whatever the heck it was thing today I'm not so sure.

What do you think?

"Is it true that Stephen Harper is an unhinged, raving lunatic who is actually the Manchurian Trojan Horse Candidate of the Ailene Chretien Wing of the neoKinsellerFeller Whig'-O-Tronic Party?"

JimBobby said...

Whooee! That's a leadin' question yer askin', GazetterFeller. I figger that ol' Harpoon an' Fartin' Martin an' even HappyJack Laydown are all numbnutses in the leaderin' department. I reckon they's all competitive fellers who were itchin' t' be at the top o' the party heap. Now that they got sum power, they ain't gotta clue what t' do with it.

As far as the leaderin' talents o' the CheeseHat, I wouldn't know. I can't understand a word he sez.