Mama, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to be Tories
Mama, don't let your babies grow up to be Tories,
Don't let 'em kill Kyoto and wage Afghan wars,
Make 'em honour treaties and abide by the laws;
Mama, don't let your babies grow up to be Tories,
They're always campaigning and running attack ads,
Even when there's no campaign.
Tories ain't easy to love and they lie to get votes,
They'll promise you pie in the sky and get up your hopes,
More doctors, less taxes and clean air to breathe, tomorrow's a sunny new day,
And if you don't understand 'em, it really don't matter,
Just don't believe a word that they say.
Mama, don't let your babies grow up to be Liberals,
Don't let 'em dither and equivocate,
Make 'em finish what they start and clean up their plate;
Mama, don't let your babies grow up to be Liberals,
They'll turn on each other and then self-destruct,
And maybe just fade away.
Liberals ain't easy to love and they lie to get votes ,
They'll promise you pie in the sky and get up your hopes,
More doctors, less taxes and clean air to breathe, tomorrow's a sunny new day,
And if you don't understand 'em, it really don't matter,
Just don't believe a word that they say.
Mama, don't let your babies grow up to be Dippers,
Don't let 'em read Marx and pontificate,
Make 'em quit creating a welfare state;
Mama, don't let your babies grow up to be Dippers,
They've got good intentions but we know damn well,
That pavement leads straight into hell.
Dippers ain't easy to love and they lie to get votes,
They'll promise you pie in the sky and get up your hopes,
More doctors, less taxes and clean air to breathe, tomorrow's a sunny new day,
And if you don't understand 'em, it really don't matter,
Just don't believe a word that they say.
Mama, don't let your babies grow up to be Greenies,
Don't let 'em recycle and fight for clean air,
Make 'em polluters who don't really care;
Mama, don't let your babies grow up to be Greenies,
They'll turn down your furnace and compost your trash,
And tell you they're savin' the world.
Greenies are easy to love, they don't lie to get votes,
They'll try to clean up the air and get up your hopes,
Kyoto compliance and clean air to breathe, tomorrow's a sunny new day,
And if you don't understand 'em, watch the TV debates,
Keep your eye on Elizabeth May.
Mama, don't let your babies grow up to be politicians,
Don't let 'em go stumpin' and tell bald-faced lies,
Make 'em quit promisin' pie in the sky;
Mama, don't let your babies grow up to be politicians,
They'll flip and they'll flop and they'll say anything,
To get you to give 'em your vote.
JimBobby
Oh yeah... fergot t' mention that I didn't do the voice changin' trick again this time. I was talkin' on the phone t' my cartoon-drawin' buddy Johnny Fewings an' he sed I oughta leave off with the filterin' an' jest use my real voice so that's what I done an' I'll probbly do the selfsame thing from here on out.
JB
6 comments:
I've got to admit it - you are a creative fellow, JimBobby. And that's coming from a baby who grew up to be a Tory! : )
Well, I'll be?
JimBobby, you done went an made yourself one these har' blogthingys!
Now, I'm sittin' here just awaitin fer that Garth fella to update his blogthingy with the latest posts and thought I'd meander over an see what's ya got cookin?
All that white stuff blowin' around outside makes me hungry for some Grits, but these har Cajunins ain't never heard of 'em!
I tell ya, fer a people that can come up with that Pountine, ya'll'd think they'd be importin' that ground white hominy?
An ya know. I was once kinda a song writer myself. Why when I think of that Baird fellow I just start thinkin' about that old Leroy Brown...i do indeed. he be big and bad till he mess'd with the wrong man! Now he looks like Sushi! We used to sit around pickin' and grinnin' and sippin' some that fine Dr. Jack!
You friend, that thar cartoon fella be good at what he do too!
So, anyhows, I'ma gonna mosey back over there to Garth's an see what them thar city folks (we'all call 'em Citiots here in God's Country) be sayin.
Ya take now...Hear?
Whooee! Billy Muskoke, I'm happy as a gopher in soft dirt that you dropped over fer a visit. I seen yer comments over t' my friend Tony Zerb's when she useta write boog stories an' I see yer a regular over t' Garth's boog. I reckon I've hit the bigtime now that Muskokie Bill's come over t' JimBobby Sez.
Yer right as rain 'bout the grits. I like sum grits with my bacon an' eggs but I only get 'em when I go down t' Merka. The way they're sealin' off the border an' makin' Canjuns feel like AlQaeders, I don't figger I'll be headin' 'cross the Peace Bridge fer a spell. Ouch! Did I say "be headin'" ? The Merkan CIA'll probbly be flaggin' my boog now.
'Bout the only hominy I get 'round here is a few ad hominy attacks from some o' the numbnutses who don't like what I say 'bout their polytickle bossmen. They usually clam up when I offer 'em a JimBobby-flavoured knuckle samwitch or two.
Come on back an' jaw polyticks any time, BillMan.
JB
JB,
"They usually clam up when I offer 'em a JimBobby-flavoured knuckle samwitch or two."
Yeah, that do tend to aid and assist in their jawin', that's fer sure!
Gives 'em a little British aspect with a stiff upper lip too!
I'm not sure my posting makes ya'll hit da big time, cause I'm just an average guy, but my ears and eyes hear and see pretty well, so I tend to call 'em like I sees 'em.
That tends to purterb some folks, cause they must be descendants of that same bunch who never told the Emperor he ain't got no clothes on, eh? I think they must be fond of Egypt cause they are alwasy living in'denial!'
Yeah, old Zerb went and hightailed it on she did. But doggonit, we did have some fun running dry corncobs in the proper places now and then.
Oh well, it be Friday, and I gotta go get some things done...already went out and moved all that white stuff we got yesterwqday...even found my car.
Poor old Bobby MCClelland, he just not gettin' the traffic he used to.
I also see that thar Scout, she still be lazin' over thar in them thar 'Merikan isles. She said old Crystal Methodist might drop by and have a few wisps of wisdom to share.
You take care now...hear? See you this weekend here and o'er thar at Garth's The be a gittin' hotter and hotter and pretty soon they gonna be worser an them GHG!
Whooee! Some o' them common taters over t' GarthFeller's boog is 'bout as useless as a tuxedo on a catfish. I give Garth credit fer puttin' up with most of it. O' course, I wish he wouldn't o' thrown in with the Dionysians but I reckon the bigass Grits'll help out with buyin' the ads an' lawn signs come electionvotin' time.
Have a good weekend, Bill. Go slow with the shovellin'. We ain't had too much snow this year an' that's good on accounta I been busier'n a one-eyed cat watchin' nine rat holes.
JB
JB,
"Whooee! Some o' them common taters over t' GarthFeller's boog is 'bout as useless as a tuxedo on a catfish."
Yeah, but they thinks they be 'impotent!'
Now, ya'll take care cause them thar Yankees be sending ya some nasty arse snow storms and ya'll might just gonna be doggin' out down yonder!
But like my wife noted. It's Canada's fault. Darn, the South Park boys and their propagandi!
Ain't got nottin ta do with them Mexicanos I reckon?
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