Friday, April 27, 2007

The Fat Man, The Doctor, The Diet and Intensity Targets

Whooee! I was just over to Eric's Gettin' it Right boog where he's tryin' to explain intensity targets by usin' an analogy of a Toyota vs. a gas guzzlin' Chev. The analogy's okay but I been tryin' to come up with a better one - one that's easier to understand. I think I got one that ain't too bad. It ain't politically correct, I reckon, an' some body-mass challenged victim of McCulture will probbly gimme shit but, here goes --

The Fat Man, The Doctor, The Diet and Intensity Targets

Once upon a time, there was a fat man. His name wasn't Steve. He was gettin' fatter an' fatter an' he was gainin' about a pound a week. That's about a half kilogram, fer you younger folks.

The fat guy goes to his doctor an' the doc sez, "Fatboy, yer killin' yer stoopidass self. You gotta lose weight an' fast or else yer headed fer a nasty life an' an early death." He tells the fat man he's gotta go on a diet, start exercisin' an' get thinner. Or else.

So, the fat feller starts walkin' down to the corner store instead drivin' the chugmobile. When he's there, he buys the small bag o' chips an' only half as many chocolate bars as before he got the death sentence from the sawbones. With his efforts at exercise an' dietin', the fat feller cuts down the rate at which he's gainin' weight.

He cuts it down to a pound a month from a pound a week. He's reduced the intensity of his weight gain by 75%. Sounds good. A 75% reduction must be good.

But.. but... but... the doctor told him he was gonna die if he didn't lose weight. Cuttin' down the rate at which he's gainin' weight ain't losin' weight. He's still gainin' an' he's still puttin' his stoopidass self into a early grave.

I reckon the fat boy (whose name ain't Steve) was only foolin' hisself. The epitaph on his gravestone can read -- "He reduced intensity by 75%. R.I.P."


Dilbert Pays Homage to JimBobby.. er, Mark Twain

Whooee! Well friends an' foes, the Dilbert comic strip today got me laffin'.

Yeow! That's hittin' close t' home, sez I.


Monday, April 23, 2007

Lightbulbs, McGuinty and the Nanny State

Whooee! Well friends an' foes, Red Tory's got hisself a good boog story all about Ginty's idea to make compact fluorescent lightbulbs mandatory like they do in Australia an' some other places. Red's bringin' up the bit where the anti-Earthers are bitchin' that Ginty's makin' Ontariariario more of a nanny state an' they want the right to use whatever dang lightbulbs they please.

I ain't a bigass proponent of the nanny state but we got all sortsa rules an' regulations an' if we wanna save ol' Mother Earth, we're gonna need to get a little bit tuff. We got things like speed limits on the highway, laws that say you can't dump garbage anywhere you please, laws that say I gotta pick up dog shit behind ol' Spot, laws that say I gotta pay taxes so's Steve Harper can hire a primper, laws that say cars gotta meet certain standards and a blujillion other laws.

Laws are mostly there to protect society in general from anti-social elements, like wanton polluters an' mass murderers. Without some rules an' regulations, we wouldn't have a society like we do. We'd be livin' in Mad Max world.

Nannies are there to protect dumbass kids from hurtin' themselves an' to make sure they get the necessities of life an' maybe a stroller ride in the park. Some fellers an' gals probbly figger they're responsible enough an' don't need Ginty tellin' 'em what to screw in their sockets. Troublem is, from what some of 'em are sayin', it seems they are too stoopid fer their own good an' are talkin' down the CFB's themselves along with the nanny. "Aw, Mom! I don't need a babysitter anymore." Anybuddy who's had kids, knows that line an' knows it usually means that they DO need a babysitter.

This whole thing reminds me of when we switched to unleaded gasoline. Yeow! The selfsame sorta hew an' cry went up. Lo an' behold, 20 years later, we're doin' fine as far as the no-lead aspect of gasoline is concerned. How many are grumblin' about the nanny state takin' poison lead outta the gas every time they fill up the chugmobile?

Some of the drawbacks to CFB's Red Tory was on about were relevent with early CFB's but have been largely overcome. The dimmer issue is one such problem. CFB's are available that do work properly with dimmers an' 3-way switches. These bulbs, admittedly so far, are more expensive an' more difficult to find.

A commenter over t' Red's site brought up the fluorescent flickerin' causes migraines issue, this is something I don't see in the CFB's. I'm sensitive to flickerin' but it don't gimme migraines an' I ain't seen any scientific studies but... the flicker that we all seen in them commonly used 4-foot fluorescent tubes ain't happenin' with the CFB's. Leastwise, not so's it's apparent to my eye.

As far as the colour spectrum of the light itself, there were originally only "cool white" CF bulbs available. Now, the light comin' from the warmer version is pretty much identical to the spectrum emitted from conventional bulbs.

Like the anti-Earthers complain, CFB's take a little time to reach full brightness. So does my LCD monitor. So what? From my experience, I'd estimate they reach 70% brightness within 2 seconds and, except in cold outdoor conditions, they reach full brightness within a minute. Not much of a drawback considerin' they use less than one quarter the energy of regular bulbs.

Red talked about the fact that up-front costs are high with the CFB's. It's true but they last anywhere's from 5 to 7 years an' they pay fer themselves, on average, within the first year with reduced energy costs. Economy of scale will play an important part in reducing the up-front costs. When CFB's account for the bulk of lightbulb use, manufacturing and distribution will become more efficient.

Red brought up the mercury issue, it is true that CFB's do contain mercury and should be disposed of properly -- just like old paint, fuel, thinners, industrial chemicals, medical waste, batteries and a plethora of other commonly used items. We do it for those other things and we can do it for CFB's. It ain't like CFB's is spent nuclear fuel rods.

Still on the mercury issue, the increased energy demand of incandescants requires electrical generators to provide electricity that they would not need to produce if CFB's were used. Coal-burning generators emit mercury from their smokestacks. Trace amounts, just like what's in the CFB's. The difference is that while the coal-burning generators spew the mercury into the air, CFB's contain the contaminant and can be disposed of without releasing it into the air.

I ain't a hunnert percent sure that legislation is the way to go. I ain't fightin' it on accounta I believe that switchin' over to CFB's is gonna save electricity an' help save ol' Mother Earth. I reckon the gummint could probbly be just as effective if it'd lead by example.

My idea would be for the Ontario gummint to embark on a program to immediately replace its own incandescant bulbs with CFB's in each and every gummint building. I'm talkin' Queen's Park, every driver's license outlet, every courthouse, every maintenance garage, storage facility and every school and university in the province.

When they're doin' that, they should mount a bigass PR campaign explainin' how much energy their savin' an' how, even in the medium term, they're gonna save the taxpayer megatonnes of money. Ontariariarians ain't stoopid. If we see our gummint savin' money an' doin' the right thing at the same time, we'll mostly wanna get in on the benefits.


(P.S. Most o' this here boog story was originally posted as a comment over t' Red Tory's fine boog.)

Sunday, April 22, 2007

CPoC: Nattering Nabobs of Negativitity

Whooee! I was just over to Steve V's Far and Wide boog. Steve's askin' if we need an election right away. He talks about Kyoto an' the Clean Air Act an' Baird's gloomy predictions. There's some commenters who are echoin' Baird's BS. I posted up a bigass comment an' decided to reduce work by re-usin' that comment in a recycled version fer this here boog story.

Do we need an election? Eventually, yes. (It's a democracy, after all) Now? Not necessarily. The anti-Harper side needs some time to consolidate it's message an' tell Canajuns what's what.

The "all vs. nothing" premise is being argued by Baird an' some commenters over at Steve's boog. Dumb!

Numerous Yerpean countries have complied with Kyoto an' they ain't all beggin' in the streets an' drivin' dog-carts to the welfare office.

There's gold in them thar green actions an' Baird's BS ain't prospectin' fer it or talkin' about it. Green-collar job creation, carbon tradin' an' innovative energy reduction are all potential plusses fer the economy.

If the Grits wanna win, they gotta talk to Canajun pride. The Cons is all natterin' nabobs of negativity. The Cons say Canajuns is too weak an' stoopid to to save energy, reduce GHG's an' do like the Yerpeans. Cons got an inferiority complex an' they're sellin' their CANTDO attitude to Canajuns.

We ain't weaklings. We ain't stoopid. We can do anything the Yerpeans can do. We got a well-educated workforce, established industrial infrastructure, easy access to US markets and a desire to do our part on the world stage.

Grits an' Greens an' Dips an' even the rotten separatist BlocHeads gotta show Canajuns that the Cant-do Cons is all wrong. The Con message is one of hopelessness in the face of unavoidable environmental catastrophe. Who wants to accept that? Not the smart, proud, Can-do Canajuns I know.

Between now an' whenever we finally do have an electionvote, the anti-Harper bunch oughta be talkin' positive. When Baird sez Kyoto'll ruin the economy, Canajuns gotta get told about how 1.) environmental action and prosperity can go hand-in-hand and 2.) Baird's fudged the figures to fit the CPoC Negative Nelly Can't-do Canajuns-are-nincompoops attitude.

We can do it. We want to be told we can do it. We want leaders who are positive an' forward-thinkin'.

Polyticians are short-term thinkers. Their goals seldom go beyond winning the next election. They make false promises to win short term support.

But Canajuns are smarter than that. Canajuns are some of the biggest savers and savviest investors. Despite our user-unfriendly mortgage system, proportionally more Canajuns own homes an' property than Merkans.

Canajuns understand longterm investment. We're smart enough to understand short-term pain for long-term gain. More'n'more boomers is becomin' grannies an' grampaws an' we're worryin' about the kinda Earth we're leavin' to the grandkids.

Grits an' all anti-Cons need to develop a strategy that speaks to positivism and works for long term goals. The Cons came in on an antiGrit, antiCorruption wave. The Grits can come back but not simply with an anti-Harper message. The message needs to be pro-Canada, pro-Earth -- pro-gressive.


Thursday, April 19, 2007

Painted Jezebel Stephen Harper: Don't hate me because I'm beautiful.

Whooee! Well friends an' foes, I ain't sure whether to laff or cry. Yesterday, Ma an' I had us a good ol' laff over mornin' coffee when we seen a article in the Brantford Suppositor tellin' about Pryminister Steve's make-up gal, Michelle Muntean. Ma sez Harper's got Merkan hair. Merkan polyticians like Trent Lott got their own hairdoo an' Harp's in their robot ranks -- well, leastwise his stylist is makin' Steve look like he'd fit right in at the Alabama Legislature.

But, like the Beatles sed, that was yesterday and yesterday's gone.

Just thinkin' about Harper settin' in a chair gettin' his face an' hair an' fingernails done fer the cameras is still bringin' a smile to my face. But today, there's bad news fer Canajuns. Turns out, us taxpayers is payin' fer Harper's make-up an' hair gal. Here's the story from outta CP.

Taxpayers pay for Harper's fashion adviser

Canadian Press
Published: Thursday, April 19, 2007
OTTAWA (CP) -- It turns out that taxpayers are picking up the tab for Prime Minister Stephen Harper's personal primper.

After two days of ducking media and opposition questions, the Conservatives finally revealed Wednesday that Michelle Muntean is on Harper's government staff.

But the revelation raises two more big questions: How much is she being paid? And why is there no government record of her employment.

Harper has been travelling with his personal image adviser for major domestic and international events -- most recently at ceremonies at Vimy Ridge in France last week. Muntean helps him perfect his look, including managing his wardrobe and general grooming.

News that Harper uses a style maven had the opposition both frothing and laughing.

"Does the prime minister have difficulty sleeping at night wondering whether he should wear the light blue socks or the dark blue ones?" New Democrat MP Judy Wasylycia-Leis asked in the House of Commons, to loud hoots and claps.

"Can the prime minister tell us who pays for his fashion adviser, and how much that costs?"

Liberal MP Garth Turner also took a shot at his former boss: "It's a legitimate question. I think it's an embarrassing one to him because he likes the cowboy image and not all cowboys wear powder."

Government House Leader Peter Van Loan wouldn't say who pays for Muntean's services.

"Mr. Speaker, the prime minister maintains a tour staff, as do all prime ministers," Van Loan told the Commons.

But a government source later confirmed that taxpayers are on the hook for Muntean's services -- although the Conservative party pays her expenses.

However, there is no record of Muntean as an employee of the Prime Minister's Office, according to an official at the Privy Council Office. And an Access to Information request turned up no record of contracts paid out to Muntean.

John Williamson, federal director of the Canadian Taxpayers Federation, said such expenses are better paid by political parties.

"The idea that these expenses are going to be run up on the public tab and then answers aren't going to be forthcoming about how much its costing is unacceptable from a taxpayers point of view."

What! Say it ain't so!

It just can't be true that the leader of our home an' native land is gettin' eye shadow an' greasepaint applied at the taxpayers' expense.

Okay, maybe there's a silver linin' in this cloud. It oughta at least be some fun hearin' the HarpoonTossers try an' defend the indefensible. That sorta stuff's always fun.

A lotta boogers an' pundidiots has been sayin' Harper's a bully. I've known one or two bullies in my day. One thing bullies can't abide is gettin' laffed at. But, dang-it-all, who can't help but laff their ass off at a pryminister who travels around with a make-up gal so's he can put on a false face?

Prime Minister Pretty Boy... nya, nya , nya. Hairspray Harper... nya, nya, nya. Prime manicure Harper an' his eyeshadow cabinet. Pretty Boy Steve & his CPoC, the Cosmetic Party of Canada. Canada's Next Top Model.

If bullies get laffed at, they usually lash out. If Harper lashes out with them luscious long lashes, get outta the way. Somebuddy could get mascara on their best white shirt.

Not long ago, the Cons was showin' off their "war rooms" an' the bigass "media centre" TV studio they built with all the money they had leftover after runnin' them stoopidass TV ads. I reckon their shallowness is showin'. Havin' the biggest an' best propaganda machine an' showin' it off ain't the sorta thing that impresses most meat-n-potatoes Canajuns. But, they was usin' CPoC coin to buy that propaganda machine, so that's their business.

Havin' a PM who uses the publick purse to pay fer puttin' on make-up so's we don't hafta look at the man behind the mask is a national embarrassment. When Harper's gun-totin' idols down in Merka hear about the Prettiest Prime Minister, I reckon they'll be laffin' their Merkan asses off.


Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Compassionate Canadian Court: Troubled Teen's Pipe Bombs=Probation

Whooee! Well friends an' foes, everybuddy's talkin' about this nutcase down in Virginia who killed all them students an' perfessers. Over t' Stageleft, the StageCoachDriver's got a good boog story on it an' how they got more Iraqis dyin' every day an' how much everybuddy gets all comcerned an' MP's an' Presidents get on their hind legs when 32 Merkans die but look the other way when hunnerts an' hunnerts of Iraqis is bein' killed every week. An' most o' them ain't bein' killed quicklike with a bullet in the brain. They're bein' tortured t' death.

Anyways, I ain't gonna boog about that troubled young man in Virginia. I'm gonna boog on one a little closer to home. This one's from about 20 miles from where ol' JB hang's his toque. I'm postin' up this here story from outta the Hamilton Spectator --

Bomb maker given 3 years probation

SIMCOE (Apr 18, 2007)

A 19-year-old bomb maker has been spared jail and given a sentence of three years probation.

Jakob Froese was in a Simcoe court yesterday where reports from social workers and a psychiatrist deemed him no danger to the public or himself.

Froese was portrayed as a lonely and isolated young man shunned by his family and their religious community, The Church of God in Aylmer. He had started making pipe bombs as a hobby he said he picked up by watching television and reading the encyclopedia.

Lawyer Albert Smelko said Froese now realizes his experiment "was perhaps misplaced and he's wiser for it."

Justice Brian Stead agreed, saying the reports suggest Froese has no mental illness or other issues, and that the dabbling in pipe bombs seems to have been "more of a curiosity".

Crown attorney John Ayre said Froese attracted significant community and media attention when he was arrested in January. At the time, police didn't know if they had a real bomber or a misguided young man.

It turned out to be the latter. Ayre said Froese has no prior record. He added police described Froese as polite and respectful while in jail awaiting trial.

Froese was arrested Jan. 9 after Simcoe OPP found bomb-making components and seven hunting rifles at a Walsingham farm where he rented a room and in the trunk of his car. Froese then spent 25 days in jail before getting bail.

One of the sureties on his bail, John Neudorf of Aylmer, has taken Froese into his home to live with him and his family. Neudorf testified yesterday that Froese was shaken up by jail but quickly calmed down and found a job as a welder.

"He's very much a part of our family," Neudorf said.

Outside court, Neudorf said he first met Froese when he visited the teenager in custody. Neudorf had decided to help Froese after hearing of his predicament and of his upbringing in the Church of God.

"I have relatives in that group," he said. "That led me to feel compassion to help him out of there (custody).

"He led a very sheltered life. Prison is not something that would have helped him in any way."

The Crown and defence made a joint submission for three years probation.

Smelko said Froese has a stable family home life now with Neudorf. Ayre said probation with some counselling, is the best protection for the public.

Well, I hope it all works out fer the young feller an' fer any of his future victims, too. If I was one o' them God-fearin' Church of God folks who shunned the pore, dumb kid an' drove him to carryin' around 7 rifles an' all that bomb-makin' stuff in the trunk of his car, I'd be takin' a look at any other anti-social teenagers who maybe been shunned an' is maybe buildin' up an arsenal.

It's kinda ironical, sez I, when the prosecutor shows more compassion than the Bible thumpin' shunners.


Sunday, April 15, 2007

Potvin Will Not Be Green Party Candidate

Whooee! Well friends an' foes, as if we didn't need any further proof of Lizzie May's leadership, here's the latest --

Transmitted by CNW Group on : April 15, 2007 12:25

Green Party says Potvin will not be its candidate in Vancouver-Kingsway

OTTAWA, April 15 /CNW Telbec/ - The Green Party of Canada has announced that Kevin Potvin will not be its candidate in Vancouver-Kingsway following the revelation that he wrote a magazine article expressing approval for the terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001.

"Non-violence is one of the Green Party's fundamental principles," said party leader Elizabeth May. "Our members declare their commitment to strive for a culture of peace and cooperation between states and between people.

"I spoke with Kevin and realize this has been difficult for him. He is a community leader, a father and an engaged citizen. He plays a very helpful role in his community.

"However, his views are antithetical to Green Party values. We have irreconcilable differences. I will not sign his nomination papers and he will not be a Green Party candidate."

Lizzie May's a classy gal. She took decisive action an' disavowed the Greenies from this quick and without any unneeded nastiness or character assassination.


Friday, April 13, 2007

Lizzie an' Stephane, Huggin' a Tree...

... K-I-S-S-I-N-G.

Whooee! Well friends an' foes, the gal I adore, Earth Mother Lizzie May, an' the accidental leader of the Liberals done some bigass wheelin' an' dealin' that's got the pundidiots all hammerin' their keyboards t' beat the band. Some boogers think they're both crazy. Crazy like foxes, sez I.

I been leavin' a couplafew comments out in the boogeysphere an' I'll try t' roll 'em up inta this here boog story.

I reckon this wheelie-deal is fer the good of Canada. I been worryin' a little about how us Greenies might help Harpoon get a majority. I maybe ain't as worried about that possibility as Dion an' Lizzie. I don't see any party gettin' a majority so long as the rotten separatist BlocHeads stay strong like they are in Q-Beck.

Over t' John Murney's fine boog, I commented with somethin' like this --

I been in correspondence with a coupla NS voters an' they say there's considerable anti-MacKay sentiment.

Ultra-partisan polyticks-as-usual with it's kindergarten antics an' House o' Comments name-callin' is wearin' real thin on Canajuns lookin' fer real action an' not just stoopidity in Parliament.

This deal is a shocker mainly on accounta it's something Canajuns ain't seen much of -- co-operation fer the good of Canada.We've entered an era where we are likely to see nothin' but minority gummints fer quite a spell. If parties can demonstrate an ability to co-operate in the highly charged atmosphere of an election campaign, it bodes well for a co-operative and productive parliament.

One o' Murney's commenters sed - "Rule number 1 of any political campaign, don't give your enemy any ammo with which to use against you."

Enemy? Ammo? Is this democracy or war? In a recent speech in Brantford, ON, Lizzie May decried the use of military terminology in party politics and campaign rhetoric. The phrases "war room" and "war chest" were specifically singled out as offensive and unproductive.

The concept that one's fellow Parliamentary candidates are "enemies" upon whom "ammo" is to be discharged is exactly what's wrong with our current stalemated Parliament. Candidates running for Parliament are not enemies. They are concerned Canadians who want to serve their country. They deserve respect but the paleo-partisans cannot bring themselves to work for Canada above working for their party.

What the Cons and NDP need to accept is that the strength of the BQ means that we will have minority government for a long, long time. If we are to be freed from instability and a US-style continuous election campaign, Parliamentarians must learn to co-operate for the good of Canajuns. May and Dion are demonstratin' that such co-operation is possible.

When politicians put the long term good of the country above the short term good of the party, Canajuns win.


Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Belinda, We Hardly Knew Ye

Whooee! Well friends an' foes, it's all over the news that Belinda Stronach's leavin' polyticks an' won't be runnin' if ever there's an election called. She's packin' it in an' headin' back over t' Magna.

Too bad, sez I.

I figger havin' a rich glamour gal jetsettin' international industrialist heiress to billions was sorta good fer the spectacle up in the House o' Comments. Whenever I seen Belinda on the TV, I always sorta thought she seemed down to earth an' not a snootytoot.

I shook hands with her daddy Frank one day back in about 1985 or 86. Ma useta work in one o' Frankie's Magna plants an' the plant had a Amnesty International chapter an' Ma was mannin' a booth at the shoppin' mall an' Frank came by 'specially t' give his nod of approval. There ain't much not to like about the guy. Self-made rags-to-riches billionaire, eccentric, generous (Katrina), pushes innovative profit-sharing in lieu of unionized shops, small-l liberal, ran once for the big L's, lost and didn't sour enough on politics to stop Belinda from climbin' the greasy pole.

Belinda don't get enough credit fer brains, sez I. I reckon she don't get a free pass on doin' her bigass corporate duties. And she had enough brains to get outta the HarpoonTossers' camp. There ain't enough gals wantin' t' be MP's an' maybe all the nastiness an' kindergarten antics is just too stoopid an' unproductive fer a world class industrial executive like Belinda.

I hope Lizzie May trounces Belinda's ol' flame Petey MacKay an' then we'll get real class act gal in the House o' Comments.


Feminist or Pornstar?

Whooee! Well friends an' foes, I was over t' Stageleft yammerin' in a comments gabfest with Arwen an' Balbulican an' Candace an' some other boogers about gal MP's an' MPP's an' MLA's an' decorum an' civility an' I got sorta off on a tangent an' posted up a bigass comment on feminism. Here's what I sed an' maybe some gals'll chime in with their two-cents-worth.

When I was readin' them Stageleft comments, a personal tidbit popped inta my noggin. Back in 1969, I was a 20 year old hippie an' I was in Chicago visitin’ my university buddy, John. I asked John about his former girlfriend, Virginia. He replied that she was heavily involved in something called the “womens’ liberation movement.”

“Womens’ liberation” was a new one fer me. “What’s that?” I asked.

We talked about feminism without usin’ that word, since neither of us had probbly ever heard of it. After that, the womens’ lib movement was on my radar an’ I supported most of it with words an’ actions, as best I knew how - washin' dishes, changin' diapers, readin' Gloria Steinem, deliverin' mind-shatterin' multiple orgasms whenever I got the chance...

Sometime in the past 10 years, or so, the young female so-called feminists that I know (mostly, my 20-something nieces) started lookin’ less an’ less liberated with their push-up bras, pierced bits an’ tattooed asses. Alls they’re fightin’ for now is the right to objectify themselves an’ they don’t even see it. Useta be, you could tell a feminist from a pornstar.

In case maybe yer thinkin’ my nieces is dirty-haired junkie white trash ho’s, they ain’t. My sexiest, most-tattooed, most pierced-parts niece has a masters degree in womens’ studies, works full-time at a womens’ shelter and ran for the federal NDP a couple of elections ago.

I reckon my 1949 birth year is showin’. My wifemate’s sort of an old hippie-chick feminist who don’t wear any make-up an’ ain’t got any tattoos. Whenever we go somewheres where there’s a buncha gals, Ma’s the purtiest one an’ probbly the smartest, healthiest an’ most successful one, too.

Anyways, some gals readin' this might have some answers about what happened.


Monday, April 09, 2007

Taliban Jack, Taliban Hamid... Can Taliban Stephen be Far Off?

Whooee! Well friends an' foes, it's sad days fer Canada with another six of our army men killed in Afghanistan. There's folks who say this ain't the time fer askin' questions but only fer respectin' the dead. I figger if there's tough questions need answerin', the most respectful thing we can do is ask them tough questions.

Way back a coupla years ago, ol' Happy Jack Laydown sed we oughta start thinkin' about negotiatin' with the Talibans. A Boogin' Tory got the smart idea to give Jack the nickname "Taliban Jack." The name stuck. I even seen some boogers still usin' it a week or so ago. They say he wants to negotiate with the evil enemy. I hear tell the army fellers an' gals hate ol' Taliban Jack on accounta he wants to make deals with the enemy Taliban.

But... but... but... what the heck?!? The leader of Afghanistan and the guy who's gummint Canajuns is fightin' an' dyin' fer sez he's already been negotiatin' with the Taliban. That's right. Hamid Karzai ain't just suggestin' negotiations like Taliban Jack done. He's actually havin' them negotiations. And he's havin' 'em at the selfsame time that Canajun soldiers is bein' killed by the Taliban.

The speaker of the Afghan Parliament sez it's a bigass surprise to him that Karzai's been dealin' with the devils. That's hard to believe since reports have been comin' out fer years. The difference now is that Karzai's confirmin' he's been dealin' with Talibans fer quite a spell.

There's only one name fer this feller - Taliban Hamid.

Stephen Harper supports the mission. The mission is to support Taliban Hamid. Stephen Harper supports Taliban Hamid. I ain't holdin' my breath until the Boogin' Tories start callin' the Right Honourable Prime Minister "Taliban Steve" but they got as much or more reason to call him that as they got fer callin' Laydown "Taliban Jack".

When gummints send soldiers off to fight an' maybe die, they oughta have a dang good reason. I reckon we had a good reason fer fer knockin' the Talibans outta power. They're badasses who enforced a brutal code of laws on a repressed population. They also played willin' host to Bin Laden an' his buncha killers.

When gummints send soldiers off to fight an' maybe die, they oughta have a dang good plan. I reckon when we first signed on, we had us a decent plan. That plan was to support the Merkans in topplin' the Taliban, capturin' the murderer BinLaden an' creatin' a shinin' beacon o' democracy that'd serve as an example to the region.

When gummints send soldiers off to fight an' maybe die, they oughta have dang good allies. When the Merkans was goin' full steam, we had us a good ally. When Karzai got put in as bossman of Afghanistan, he looked like he was worth fightin' fer.

But, dang it all, things ain't goin' so good.

The reason we got in there was to support the Merkans after they was attacked on 9-11. We done that. The Talibans got their asses kicked an' BinLaden headed fer the hills. We supported the Merkans but then they got tired of Afghanistan an' all that borin' nation-buildin' stuff an' they decided to put almost all o' their military eggs into the EyeRack basket.

The plan to create that shinin' beacon of democracy ain't workin' too well. We made some progress but we ain't anywhere close to sayin' we're winnin'. Some o' the schools that were opened early on are now closed. More an' more acres of opium are fundin' both the Taliban and our warlord allies. More attacks are bein' made against Canajuns and more people are dyin' than since the first wave by the Merkans.

I reckon we need to negotiate with these here Taliban. We ain't winnin' against 'em. Maybe if the Merkans come back like they're talkin' we might be able to whip the Taliban's ass. But Karzai's our man an' he sure as hell ain't goin' fer the Taliban's jugular. If we're fightin' on Karzai's side, we're fightin' fer a guy who's holdin' secret talks with our enemy. Maybe if them talks weren't a secret, we'd be better off an' we'd know who our enemy really is.

I'm mournin' the loss of our brave soldiers. I'm askin' if that loss could o' been avoided. I'm askin' if Stephen Harper's backin' up Karzai's negotiations an' if he is, why didn't he get onside with that earlier so's fewer Canajuns'd get killed? If he ain't onside with Karzai, who are we dyin' for?


Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Conservative Conspicuous Consumption

Whooee! I seen on the Lloyd Robertson TV News Show last night the HarpoonTossers got themselves a bigass new campaign office with a bigass TV studio an' a buncha computers an' cubicles an' they're showin' it off t' the press. Over t' Accidental Deliberations, they was on about the wastefulness an' I see it, too.

They're sayin' the press got a look-see at a room with a hunnert computers all runnin' but nobuddy workin'.

Howcum they need t' waste electricity like that?

Howcum PitBullBoy Baird was braggin' up the war room when it's a perfect example of wastin' energy?

These guys showin' off their fancyass new toys is about as enviro-conscious as yer average Hummer driver.

If the Harpoon gummint replaced every single incandescant light bulb with CFB's in every single gummint-owned, gummint-leased or gummint-controlled building, I betcha we'd be able t' shut down one o' Ginty's coal-fired generators. If the Cons was serious about ol' Mother Earth, they'd implement a procurement policy that made 'em buy hybrid or ultra-fuel-efficient vehicles fer their gummint fleets. If they was serious, they'd refuse t' use them limo services that show up in bigass Crown Vic's an' Caddies an' Lincolns an' they'd be takin' the transit or a hybrid taxicab.

Same goes fer Ginty's Liberals in Ontariariario an' probbly fer every other provinkal gummint.

The Cons ain't conservers. They're consumers an' their conspicuous consumption sets a bad example fer all Canajuns.