Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Why Change the LPC? Just Vote Green.

Whooee! I went out t' BC last Fall. It's purty place, no two ways. I feel sorry fer pore ol' Jeff, the boogin' BCer in Trawna (centre o' the universe). Too bad 'bout the change o' scenery, JeffMan.

Anyways, Jeff's got hisself a good boog story askin' if the Grits ought get sum negative attack ads o' their own t' use on the HarpoonTossers. Jeff comes down on the "no ads" side. Good thinkin', sez I.

When Jeff was sayin' what he figgered the Grits oughta do, it sounded t' me like he was sayin' the Liberals oughta adopt every strategy an' policy o' the Greenies.

- The Greens operate on a tight budget an' will wait til an electionvote before spendin' on ads.

- Greens don't go negative but keep on pushin' green actions an' green thinkin'.

- The Green leader is personable an' ain't viewed as a Ottywa insider-wonk. Who wouldn't wanna have Lizzie May over fer a coffee?

So, Libruls, them things Jeff sez yer gang oughta do are already bein' done by the Greens. An' with ol' Mother Earth at the top o' voters' issues, Canajuns can trust the Greens t' keep their eye on the environmental ball.

Neither the Cons or the Grits can claim a good record on Mother Earth issues. The kindergarten antics from both parties while the Earth burns ain't goin' unnoticed by concerned Canajuns.

Canajuns outside o' Q-beck got 4 choices -

- The Cons: Nobuddy believes they really grasp or care 'bout green action.

- The Grits: 13 years o' talkin' the talk an' no walkin' the walk.

- The Dippers: Dirty factory (union) jobs trump real green action. In BC an' Sasky, NDP gummints fell down on protectin' Mother Earth.

- The Greenies: Respect an' stewardship o' Mother Earth underpins every policy. Undisputably the greenest national party.

Take a good look at the GPC's 2006 platform. It builds on a green foundation but it addresses purty much every topic you can think of.

Yores trooly,

Sunday, January 28, 2007

Bowing and Scraping to Governor General Jean

Whooee! Well friends an' foes, everybuddy knows I'm a lazyass an' I recycle comments I make 'round about the boogeysphere an' use 'em fer sum o' my boog stories. Today, I left me a bigass comment over t' Popular Doctrine an' I'm re-postin' most o' that there comment up here fer today's boog.

I ain't sure if it was Adrian or Joseph who wrote the boog story. They ain't happy 'bout Gumner General Jean. The boog writer ain't jest bitchin' 'bout bluebloods, he's got a problem with Michaelle Jean's physical beauty.

And now our new ethnic little eye candy, Michaelle Jean, has urged us to do “urgent work in our own backyard'’ and not just in impoverished Third World countries. It’s not about the fact she may be right. It’s not even about the topic, which is interesting and valid in it’s own right. It’s about… well, look at her! It’s difficult to take seriously the words of a woman who’s job it is to do her little turn on the political catwalk!

Okay, I’m ’bout as fed up as anybuddy with Canajuns bowin’ an scrapin’ before bluebloods. The idea that sum people are worthy o’ respect, fealty, honour an’ hunnerts o’ millions o’ dollars simply due to royal birth is insultin’, obscene an’ anti-democratic.

I had my fill o’ ol’ Gumner General Clarkson an’ her high-falutin’ cocktail parties an’ bigass world travel at my expense. I ain’t too happy ’bout supportin’ General Jean’s lavish lifestyle, neither.

But, the troublem ain’t really with Mme. Jean. The troublem is with Canadee. There ain’t much traction fer dumpin’ the Queen. Until the get-rid-of-the-monarchy movement gathers sum steam, we’re stuck with bowin’ an’ scrapin’ an’ the oath o’ citizenship fer Canajuns sez –

“I swear (or affirm) that I will be faithful and bear true allegiance to Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth the Second, Queen of Canada, Her Heirs and Successors, and that I will faithfully observe the laws of Canada and fulfil my duties as a Canadian citizen.”

If yer a immigrant Canajun citizen, you took that oath. That makes it impossible fer immigrant Canajuns t’ try gettin’ rid o’ the monarchy without jeopardizin’ their Canajun citizenship by breakin’ the solemn oath they took.

General Jean’s been flittin’ ’round Africa drummin’ up support fer a Canadee where a black immigrant can become head of state. She’s makin’ us look better’n we really are, sez I. She sez we gotta do more fer our own First Nations. She’s right, sez I.

Let’s get rid o’ the monarchy but let’s not send General Jean t’ the guillotine. She ain’t the monarchy. She’s jest a reminder.

Yores Trooly,

Friday, January 26, 2007

Don't Eat Squirrel Meat More Than Twice a Week

Whooee! My ol' Grampaw used t' eat squirrels. I ain't ever had any inclination. Ma's brother killed one when they was kids an' he done it up in a stew. I ain't sure if Ma ate any. The story usually comes up when Ma's bunch gets together fer Christmas.

Anyway, down in Merka - New Jersey, t' be specific - they're worryin' 'bout folks poisonin' themselves by eatin' too many squirrels. Here's the story --
Friday, January 26, 2007 - FreeMarketNews.com

Some say they're "good eatin'" while others consider them just "rats with bushy tails." Either way, squirrel hunters in New Jersey are being warned not to dine on the local squirrel-meat, due to possible toxic poisoning of the animals.

Accounts at Fox News and wire services note that local hunters in the Ringwood area of Trenton are being cautioned by the Department of Health and Senior Services to avoid the critters, due to potential lead contamination from a nearby toxic waste dump. Included among those warned in particular are members of the Ramapough Mountain Indian tribe, who hunt and fish in the area. After finding lead in at least one area squirrel, the state's Department of Environmental Protection advised that "adults eat squirrel no more than twice a week and even less for children and pregnant women."

A local resident is quoted as saying, "We've known for a long time something was wrong here; we just didn't know what it was." Theories hold that the lead may come from toxic waste, including paint sludge, dumped in the area by the Ford Motor Co. during the 1960s and early 1970s, from its now-closed car manufacturing plant in Mahwah, which is still in the process of being cleaned up.

Yeow! I'll eat peanut butter samwitches or oatmeal before I'll sink my choppers inta ratmeat stew.

Yores trooly,

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Livin' Green in the City with Garden Girl

Whooee! Well friends o' ol' Mother Earth, I come across this here video on Google an' jest yesterday I figgered out how t' post these here videos t' my little boog. Everybuddy knows I'm a lazyass an' this here postin' videos is esay as pie, no two ways. Easier than pie, sez I, an' I baked a few pies.

This here Garden Gal's got sum good tips on growin' yer own food an' usin' less oil an' gas an' whatall. She ain't bad lookin', neither.

Yores trooly,

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

State of the Union Preview

Whooee! This is a funny one, no two ways.

Monday, January 22, 2007

A Farting Horse Will Never Tire, A Farting Man's the Man to Hire

Whooee! Cow farts an' horse farts is in the news an' that remindered me o' that ol' farmer's sayin' I used fer my title. The title ain't got much t' do with my boog story jest like the headlines in the Trawna Sun ain't got much t' do with their stories.

I get the Trawna Sun delivered t' my door every Sunday. It started comin' 'bout a year ago. I never ordered it an' nobuddy ever asked if I wanted it or if I'd pay fer it. I guess it's so bad they gotta give it away.

Yesterday, there was a 'pinion piece in the Comment section by Greg Weston. It was on GHG's an' the printed headline an' subhead both alluded t' the cow farts. I see they ain't runnin' the same headlines in the online version. In the article, Weston sez cow farts make up less than 3% o' Canadee's GHG emissions. If anybuddy read the headline but din't bother readin' the whole story, they'd think cows was a big part o' the climate troublems.

Fartin' ain't the onliest thing wrong with cows, though. Down in Brazil, they're choppin' down the rain forrest so's t' make more cowpastures. Before the cows even let the teensiest fart, they're the cause o' troublems in the dead-trees-don't-eat-CO2 department.

I seen sumbuddy who sed sumpin' 'bout the bigass herds o' bison that roamed the plains an' howcum their fartin' din't cause such troublems. Mebbe there was more bison then than there are cattle now. Mebbe not. Anybuddy know? I betcha when them buffalo was roamin', there was more forrests in North Merka gobblin' up CO2.

The big producers o' GHG's is the electricity generators, the oil an' gas industry an' vehicles. We can cut down on electricity used through reduction, conservation an' adoption o' more efficient technologies like CF light bulbs. We can put more hybrid vehicles on the road t' cut down on the need fer oil. We can insulate an' weather-proof our houses an' use less gas fer heatin'.

There's plenty o' good things we can do that don't involve swearin' off hamburgers an' milkshakes.

Yores trooly,

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Greener Than Thou? Maybe. Maybe Not.

Whooee! After I posted up my boog story 'bout Zorpheous the Wingnuterer's bright idea regardin' Compact Fluorescent Lightbulbs, I got me a comment or two from a annonymous feller who don't like the idea. He got my dander up when he questioned my own dedication as a "big greenie." I posted up a bigass reply tellin' the shit-fer-brains jest how green I am. Here's what I sed --
  • I don't own a motor vehicle. I walk most everywhere. I take a train when I go t' Trawna.

  • I wear long underwear an' sweaters in the winter so's I can keep the thermostat turned down low.

  • I spent a coupla thousand t' replace a perfectly good low efficiency gas furnace with a high efficiency model.

  • I don't own any gas-powered toys like snowmobiles or motor bikes or ATV's an' I won't ride on anybuddy else's pollutin' toys.

  • I don't own a snowblower an' I spend plenty o' back-breakin' hours shovellin'.

  • I push a non-motorized lawn mower in the summertime.

  • I put out lots more in my blue box than in my trash an' spend time sortin' the recyclable stuff.

  • I use rechargeable batteries in most everything that takes batteries.

  • I try t' do my shoppin' close by so's I can walk. If I hafta go somewhere too far fer walkin', I tag along with somebuddy who's already goin' t' where I need t' go.

  • I replaced my perfectly good 40 year-old toilet with one that uses a lot less water an' I don't flush every time I take a leak.

    Nobuddy paid me t' do those things. Sum of 'em save me money, sum don't. Up until recently, water was not metered in my town so changin' toilets didn't save anything fer the first 5 years, or so.

  • I don't own a dishwasher an' when Ma's big family comes 'round fer Christmas, we use china plates an' glass drinkware an' we wash the dishes in the sink. I wrap Christmas presents in wrappin' paper I save from when sumbuddy gives me sumpin'.

  • I carry 'round a white handkerchief in my pocket so's I don't buy Kleenex. I wipe up spills with a tea towel so's I don't buy paper towels.

  • I wash my clothes usin' soap that works good in cold water.

  • I ain't sprayed on deodorant in over 35 years. I ain't never sprayed on hairspray. I don't buy spray cans o' paint or WD40.

  • I buy used clothes from Valu Village. I give used clothes t' Valu Village an' t' the Sally Ann.

  • I dig the dandelions outta my grass an' don't use any poisons on the lawn or garden.
But there's new things an' ideas comin' out all the time an' I probbly ain't doin' all I could. When I see a good idea, I don't worry if that idea come from a Con or a Lib or a Dipper or Lizzie May or George Bush. If it's a good idea, I'll use it.

If yer greener than me, tell me 'bout it. I'm always ready t' do more t' save ol' Mother Earth.

Yores trooly,

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Zorph's Got a Bright Idea - Free Light Bulbs

Whooee! Well friends an' foes, Zorph, over t' The Wingnuterer, got hisself a dang good idee an' he's givin' free advice t' Pit Bull Boy over at the Ministry o' Mother Earth. Zorph sez Johnny Baird should hand out vouchers fer $200 worth o' compact fluorescent light bulbs (CFB's I call 'em but I see Zorf calls 'em CFL bulbs). Anyway, Zorf's got charts an' figgers an' projections an' all the evidence makin' a case fer his bright idee.

Average GHG Emmission per KWH = 0.25 kg CO2 (you can quickly get a better number than this based on Canada's current power production profile and fuel vs GHG emmissions for the various fuel type. The above number is very very conservative is is most likely closer to 0.6 kg per KWH)

Program Cost Per Household = $10.00 * 20 * 1.25 = $250.00
Conservative Hydro Savings Per Household = 480 * 20 = 9600 KWH
Conservative Hydro Savings for 8000 hours Lighting = 9600 * 0.1 = $960.00
Average GHG Reduction per Household = 9600 * 0.25 = 2400 Kg

Assuming 7.5 Million Households and 25% take advantage of this Program. This is based on 8000 lighting hours and twenty bulbs per household that pay $0.10 per KHW, with GHG emmissions at 0.25 kg/KWH

Total Program Cost = $468.75 Million
Total Conservative Hydro Savings = 18,000,000 Mega Watt Hours
Total Conservative Hydro Savings = $1.800 Billion
Total GHG Reduction = 4,500,000,000 kg (or 4.5 Million Metric Tonnes)

It a win right across the board, it is an easy. It shows quick action on the file, puts money into economy, saves families some big bucks, reduces hydro consumption, reduces GHG emmissions. (Go an' read the whole thing or else yer a lazyass.)

I'm a lazyass myself so here's a copy an' paste job o' my comment from over t' Zorf's boog. Last week when I was boogin' an' changin' bulbs myself, I even sed they oughta make these bulbs the law. Take the old kind off the store shelves. Make 'em like smoke detectors - mandatory. I got a average size shack an' it only costed me 'bout $65 t' replace all my old incandescents.

I got sum idees up my sleeve but I ain't givin' 'em t' Baird. I'm gonna send my brainstorm t' Lizzie May. I'm a Greenie an' I wanna see the Greens get credit fer bein' the onliest ones who really care 'bout ol' Mother Earth. Environics has got the GreenFellers pollin' at 11% now an' we got more support than the rotten separatist BlocHeads.

Anyway, I reckon we might jest be in fer a perfect storm fer Greenies. Canajuns is fed right up with the do-nuthin's in all o' the bigass old-line parties. The Cons ain't connin' anybuddy with their new green clothes. Canajuns already say the environment is their most pressin' concern.

I figger disgust an' concern'll work together t' create perfect conditions fer the election o' some Green Party MP's.

Yores trooly,

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Green Actions Speak Louder Than Green Words

Whooee! Lotsa boogers is askin' whether ol' King Steve's conversion t' Earth Warrior is a real conversion or if its jest hot air aimed at capitalizin' on a hot topic. This here boog story o' mine is mostly a recycle job of a comment I posted up over t' Scotty Tribe's DiaTribe.

There’s sum ways that Harper an’ his bunch can convince everybuddy o’ the genuine-ness o’ their conversion.

I posted up a boog story a few days ago ’bout these here compact fluorescent lightbulbs (CFB’s). Guys like me who’s tryin’ t’ cut down on energy use is replacin' all o’ their old incandescent bulbs with these ones. It costed be ’bout $65 t’ buy all new bulbs. That’ll be paid off in hydro bill savin’s in ’bout 6 months. Already, I’m usin’ less energy an’ helpin’ cut down on’ juice comin’ outta Nanticoke.

If every incandescent bulb in North Merka was replaced with one o’ these CFB’s, they say the Merkans wouldn’t hafta import a drop o’ Middle East oil.

If the gummint’s serious, they need t’ show it.

Have they replaced all o’ the bulbs at 24 Sussex, Parliament Hill an’ all gummint buildings across Canadee?

Are they replacing the fleet o’ gas-guzzlin’ gummint limos with hybrids?

Is the Canajun Forces doin’ what the Merkan Forces is doin’ an’ convertin’ their base vehicles t’ run on bio-diesel?

Is the gummint requirin’ compostin’ an’ recyclin’ programs at all gummint facilities?

Are ministers an’ delegates makin’ use o’ technology so’s they can have virtual webcam face-t’-face meetin’s instead o’ wastin’ time, money an’ fossil fuel by flyin’ everywhere there’s a photo op?

When gummint muckety-mucks hafta fly somewheres, are they flyin’ on commercial flights with hunnerts o’ other passengers or are they gettin’ private jet service?

Are gummint buildin’s turnin’ down the thermostat an’ tellin’ the gummint workers t’ wear sweaters?

Do gummint buildin’s burn the lights all night long when nobuddy’s workin’?

Do MP’s ride public transit?

These is all the sortsa things people look after when they’re concerned ’bout the impact they’re havin’ on ol’ Mother Earth. You can bet that Lizzie May an’ most o’ the Green Party fellers an’ gals is walkin’ the walk in their personal energy use.

When Steph an’ Steve an’ Jack an’ Gilles demonstrate that they’re concerned enuff t’ cut back on their own consumption, I might think ’bout givin’ ‘em my vote.

Yores trooly,

Thursday, January 04, 2007

Big Oil Funds Climate Change Deniers

Whooee! Speakin' o' "So-called greenhouses gases"... Here's one 'bout how bigass oil giant ExxonMobil is mixin' dirty tricks in with the dirty air.
Energy giant ExxonMobil borrowed tactics from the tobacco industry to raise doubt about climate change, spending $16 million (8.2 million pounds) on groups that question global warming, a science watchdog group said on Wednesday.

ExxonMobil did this by using the same methods used for decades by the U.S. tobacco industry, the report said, including:

-- raising doubts about even the most undisputed science;

-- funding a variety of front organisations to create the appearance of a broad platform;

-- recruiting a number of vocal climate change contrarians;

-- portraying its opposition to action as a quest for "sound science" rather than business self-interest;

-- using its access to the Bush administration to shape federal communications and policies on global warming.

Get the whole report from the Union of Concerned Scientists.
This is jest Exxon, remember. When big terbacky was doin' the selfsame sorta thing, they was colludin' with one another an' a whole whack o' companies did it. I wonder how much Shell, BP and some o' the other big oil guys spend on false propergander.

I reckon if you got the money, you can buy opinions an' influence. That ain't nuthin' new. What's new is that ol' Mother Earth's sufferin' an' man's t' blame an' man's gonna get extinct if we don't wake up. Big oil's makin' money on the way it is now an' they don't care what happens t' our kiddies an' grankiddies.

An' they got King Steve in their pocket.


Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Green Light (bulbs) for Wal-Mart

Whooee! Well friends an' foes, I'm up t' my lazyass tricks again. I'm recyclin' a comment I made this mornin' over t' the Big City Liberal's fine boog. BCL sez WalMarket's doin' the non-evil thing by pushin' compact flourescent light bulbs. The Noo York Times is blatherin' 'bout it.

BCL wondered if the bulbs fit in a standard socket. They do. Ma an' me got a few o' them there bulbs here in our little shack an' I can't tell the difference when the lampshade's on.

WalMarket's jest provin' they do their market research. North Merkan consumers is wakin' up an' gettin' enviro-conscious. WalMarket sees an opportunity t' profit.

All-in-all, in the long run, over the course of time, when all is sed an' done, green industry an' marketin' will create more jobs than it costs. Those jobs'll be high-tech, better paid jobs. An' they'll be clean jobs where workers don't get poisoned on the job.

WalMarket gets it. They ain't bein' socially motivated an' it ain't because they're concerned 'bout ol' Mother Earth. They see the writin' on the wall an' it sez -- "There's gold in that thar green movement."

I ain't a fan o' WalMarket. That's puttin' it mildly. I'll be buyin' more o' them bulbs but I'll be buyin' from my local hardware store or grocery store. Buyin' local is anuther green practice. I can walk t' them stores an' the profits stay here in my little town.

Canajuns is demandin' better green action from gummint. We needta demand better green action from our own selves, too. Walk more. Ride a bike. Take the streetcar if there's one in yer town. Buy local apples instead o' Florida oranges. Reduce, re-use, recycle. Park the ATV, snowmobile, gas mower, snow blower, dirt bike, SUV, power boat. Put on a sweater an' turn down the heat. Carpool. Wash yer clothes in cold water. Quit sprayin' yer lawn an' dig up the dandelions, if you don't like 'em. If you gotta string up the Christmas lights, use LED lights.

Show the gummint we really mean it an' demand real action.

The ranks o' climate-change-deniers is gettin' smaller. GWB is worryin' 'bout polar bears. Rona's gettin' the axe. Dion came in on a green wave. Lizzie May got 27% an' come in second in London North Centre. The Dippers is tryin' t' look good by helpin' the HarpoonTossers draft a better Clean Air Act. The world's biggest retailer sees green dollar signs.

Yores trooly,