Wednesday, February 23, 2005

A Bottle o' Good Ale fer the House

Ol' Ralphie Good Ale is pullin' hisself a leaf outta Pryminster Fartin' Martin's notebook an' deliverin' up a budget that aim's t' please everbuddy. Leastwise, if you ken believe what they say in this here CP story in the Yahoo News. Good Ale ain't actually spilled any o' his homebrew onta the floor o' the commonhouse o' parliment yet an' he's gonna wait until later on today t' do that. These writin' gals onta the CP payroll sez they gotta purty good idee what's gonna spill outta Good Ale's beer bottle when he gets up on his hind legs this afternoon an' shows everbuddy his new boots.

Now, ol' Ralphfeller's gotta divvie up the budget goodies t' make everbuddy happy on accounta the Gritfellers's in the minority with only 133 sittin' in their lightweight brigade. Cordin' t' the selfsame sexy gals o' the CP, Sandra Cordon an' Sue Bailey, a lotta Good Ale's brew is gonna get poured inta the Canajun Forces. $13 billion, t' be exact. That's where RalphBoy is tryin' kiss up t' the Toryfellers. Away last spring when I watched the CPC leadership debate onta the TV, ol' Harpoon an' B.Linda an' Tony Inclementweatherman was up onta their hind legs an' outbiddin' one another sayin' they's gonna give the army boys $1.5 billion or mebbe even $2 billion a year. Ralphie's pourin' his $13 billion worth o' Good Ale out over 5 years so anybuddy with a paper n' pencil can work it out that the Gritfellers's givin' the army boys an' girls more'n Harpoon or B.Linda was talkin' 'bout. That ought shut'm up while they sip on that.

Ol' Sandie an' Susie's also sayin' that this here budget's gonna make sum taxes lower an' that's the sorta thing that the Harpoon gang is always after so it should make'm happy but it won't, I reckon. The Toryfellers ain't ever gonna be happy til there's no taxes at all an' I ain't sayin' that's good or bad but it does make me scratch my noggin wondrin' how they intend t' help out ol' BushyEyebrows with his ballstick missile fence if there's no tax money in the kitty.

The Toryfellers ain't the onliest remembers o' parliment that's gettin' treated to a glass or two o' Good Ale's brew. The DippyWips underneath o' ol' HappyJack Laydown is gettin' a big ol' servin' o' sociable programs like they's always blatherin' on about. Ralphfeller's pourin' sum ale inta that there Kyoto Accordion an' that's aimed at kissin' ol' HappyJack's brand new 'ppendicitis scar. There's big glasses o' Good Ale fer the immigrants comin' t' this great home an' native land - $400 million worth. There's another $500 million fer the oldtimey senior folks an' a coupla hundred million fer the First Nations folks's houses an' schools. They's cuttin' down the number o' weeks o' real workin' needed before you can sit back an' draw pogey, too. All them things is probbly gonna make HappyJack's crew happy but watch'm bitch 'bout it anyways. Fer remembers o' paliment, bitchin' is what they's paid fer, so don't mind'm too much fer doin' what they's sposed t'.

Now it looks like the gummint's got gallons an' gallons o' Good Ale but RalphieBoy sez that the pennies is scarce as hen's teeth on accounta he give it all t' the providences fer healthcare so's they could snip short the waitin' time when yer at the doctor's office havin'm check out yer leaky plumbin' or yer creaky ball joints. I ain't so sure on accounta so far, I ain't seen any evidence o' shortages o' gummint money or shortenin' up in the doctor's office waitin' time department.

Now we jest gotta set back onta our keesters an' wait t' see if ol' Susie an' Sandie got their insider information from a creditable deep throat or if they got sold a bottle o' skunky Good Ale.

Yores trooly,


Andrew said...

The $13b isn't new money, JimBobby:

So it's not much more than a publicity stunt. They're trying to win support by giving money they've already repeatedly failed to give to our Armed Forces.

Anonymous said...

Lets just be thankful that they are giving them Money. It will be the one good thing to come out of the Liberal minority government, they have to be a bit more fiscally "Conservative" to please everyone else.

alsocanadian said...

I think it's to steal the thunder out of the Conervatives platform when they call this election...

JimBobby said...

Whooee! Thankee fer chimin' in, fellers. Andyboy is probbly right an' this money is like one o' them there 3-Card Monty cardtricks where Good Ale's movin' the cards around real quicklike an' the rest of us rubes is tryin' t' figger our which one's the ol' Ace o' Spades.

I gotta hard time seein' these here Gritfellers as being FisCons, Yoda, but they are tryin' t' kiss asses all around the house so mebbe yer right.

Whooee, Al Socanajun, are we really gonna get us another election vote right away quick?

Yores trooly,

Anonymous said...

I don't think they are being Fiscally "Conservative" they just have to look to be that way to keep the Minority going, though the latest Polls show the Libs 5 seats off a Majority if the polls were called today.

alsocanadian said...

Dont know, Jimbob. I guess it might depend on what they think ol Gomery might say...