New Song: "The Ballad of Steve Harper"

Whooee! Well, friends an' foes, I done it again. Here's a new song all about Steve Harper set to the tune of the Beverly Hillbillies theme song.

The Ballad of Steve Harper

Come and listen to my story 'bout a man named Steve
Sneaky politician, dirty tricks up his sleeve
The oil companies needed a man on the inside,
So they bought a buncha votes and gave Ol' Steve a ride
(To Ottawa, that is. Parliament Hill.)

Well the first thing you know old Steve's the PM
The oil boys are happy 'cause he's workin' just for them
Environmental rules was holdin' oil back
So Harper killed the rules an' put the pipelines on the track
(Fast track that is, supertankers, Chinese money)

Well now it's time to say goodbye to Steve and all his crew
You've shown Canadians the kind of damage you can do
You're not invited back again to this locality
Since you took advantage of our hospitality
(Big Oil's bitches, that's what they call 'em,
Not nice folks. Get the hell out now, ya hear?)

Mama, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to be Tories (audio)

Whooee! Well friends an' foes, I was over t' Cathie From Canada's fine boog this mornin' an' CathieGal paid me a compliment when she sez I got a Willie Nelson voice. I reckon she mighta been bein' sarcastic but I'll take whatever I can get. It was a good co-inkydink on accounta jest last night I wrote up sum new words t' ol' Willie's Mama, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to be Cowboys. This mornin', I finished the words an' recorded the song fer yer listenin' pleasure. I posted up a MP3 audio like always.


Mama, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to be Tories

Mama, don't let your babies grow up to be Tories,
Don't let 'em kill Kyoto and wage Afghan wars,
Make 'em honour treaties and abide by the laws;
Mama, don't let your babies grow up to be Tories,
They're always campaigning and running attack ads,
Even when there's no campaign.

Tories ain't easy to love and they lie to get votes,
They'll promise you pie in the sky and get up your hopes,
More doctors, less taxes and clean air to breathe, tomorrow's a sunny new day,
And if you don't understand 'em, it really don't matter,
Just don't believe a word that they say.

Mama, don't let your babies grow up to be Liberals,
Don't let 'em dither and equivocate,
Make 'em finish what they start and clean up their plate;
Mama, don't let your babies grow up to be Liberals,
They'll turn on each other and then self-destruct,
And maybe just fade away.

Liberals ain't easy to love and they lie to get votes ,
They'll promise you pie in the sky and get up your hopes,
More doctors, less taxes and clean air to breathe, tomorrow's a sunny new day,
And if you don't understand 'em, it really don't matter,
Just don't believe a word that they say.

Mama, don't let your babies grow up to be Dippers,
Don't let 'em read Marx and pontificate,
Make 'em quit creating a welfare state;
Mama, don't let your babies grow up to be Dippers,
They've got good intentions but we know damn well,
That pavement leads straight into hell.

Dippers ain't easy to love and they lie to get votes,
They'll promise you pie in the sky and get up your hopes,
More doctors, less taxes and clean air to breathe, tomorrow's a sunny new day,
And if you don't understand 'em, it really don't matter,
Just don't believe a word that they say.

Mama, don't let your babies grow up to be Greenies,
Don't let 'em recycle and fight for clean air,
Make 'em polluters who don't really care;
Mama, don't let your babies grow up to be Greenies,
They'll turn down your furnace and compost your trash,
And tell you they're savin' the world.

Greenies are easy to love, they don't lie to get votes,
They'll try to clean up the air and get up your hopes,
Kyoto compliance and clean air to breathe, tomorrow's a sunny new day,
And if you don't understand 'em, watch the TV debates,
Keep your eye on Elizabeth May.

Mama, don't let your babies grow up to be politicians,
Don't let 'em go stumpin' and tell bald-faced lies,
Make 'em quit promisin' pie in the sky;
Mama, don't let your babies grow up to be politicians,
They'll flip and they'll flop and they'll say anything,
To get you to give 'em your vote.

CLICK HERE FER THE MP3 AUDIO

JimBobby

Oh yeah... fergot t' mention that I didn't do the voice changin' trick again this time. I was talkin' on the phone t' my cartoon-drawin' buddy Johnny Fewings an' he sed I oughta leave off with the filterin' an' jest use my real voice so that's what I done an' I'll probbly do the selfsame thing from here on out.
JB

Sing Us a Song, You're Enviro-Man (audio)

Whooee! Well friends an' foes, here we go again with anuther polytickle song. Yesterday, I was over 't the Gazetteer's fine boog an' he had hisself a boog story 'bout lullabyes an' playin' piana fer the kiddies an' he was on about ol' Billy Joel's song The Piano Man. The GazetteMan got that melody runnin' 'round my head an' it weren't long before I had the chorus fer a new song.

I recorded the song this mornin' an' I did it a little different than usual. I usually run my singin' through a vibrato filter so's t' disguise my voice an' I usually don't have any instrumental stuff. This time, I wanted t' toss in a little piana playin' on accounta it bein' the Piano Man song. I ain't much of a piana player an' I 'specially ain't any good at accompanyin' my own singin' self. But, dang it all, I did it anyways. So's I wouldn't bend my piano notes, I didn't disguise my voice fer this one.

Here's the MP3 audio boog file.

Sing Us a Song, You're Enviro-Man

It's nine o'clock up in Ottawa,
Most of the MPs are there,
They're all in their seats, except Steve's on his feet,
Tryin' to prove that he cares.

He says, "Folks, I'm as green as those other guys,
Thirteen years and they didn't do squat,
Except sign on Kyoto then sit on their thumbs
Playin' games while the Earth got too hot."

La la la, de de da
La la, de de da da da

Sing us a song, you're Enviro-Man,
Tell us another one, Steve.
We're all in the mood for Kyoto compliance,
So, what have you got up your sleeve?

The Big Oil magnates are friends of yours,
They contribute to your campaign,
Their brand of green funds your party machine,
And you listen when they complain.

They say "Steve, Kyoto is killin' us,
Emission caps should be banned,
At least 'til we make a few billion,
Extracting crude oil from sand."

La la la, de de da
La la, de de da da da

Sing us a song, you're Enviro-Man,
Tell us another one, Steve.
We're all in the mood for Kyoto compliance,
So, what have you got up your sleeve?

Now, Steve is an egghead Prime Minister,
There's a pit bull named Baird at his side,
Who snarls and snaps about emission caps,
While his limousine's idling outside.

And the Speaker is practicing politics,
As the insults and taunts fill the air.
While the climate is changing, they're just rearranging,
The Titanic's three hundred deck chairs.

La la la, de de da
La la, de de da da da

Sing us a song, you're Enviro-Man,
Tell us another one, Steve.
We're all in the mood for Kyoto compliance,
So, what have you got up your sleeve?

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD OR STREAM AUDIO

My undisguised voice ain't a whole lot better'n the usual vibrato version an' I reckon I hit a wrong note or two. I'm workin' on it but I been noticin' as I get older, my voice is soundin' more'n'more like a old codger - even when I'm jest talkin'.

Yores trooly,
JimBobby

THE NIGHT THEY VOTED HARPER DOWN (Song, Audio)

Whooee! Well friends an' foes, I reckon everybuddy's already heard 'bout the remembers o' parliment rememberin' Canada's committment to our Kyoto treaty obligations. I figgered sumpin' like this needed a song so I took a old timey song by The Band called The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down an' I set sum new words to it. I call it The Night They Voted Harper Down. I made a MP3 audio boog fer yer listenin' pleasure.

The Night They Voted Harper Down

Pablo Rodriguez is the name, and I serve with the Liberal gang,
The Kyoto Treaty's my game an' I wanna enforce that thing,
On the 14th of February, climate change was lookin' real scary,
The Conservatives said "Kyoto's too tough," but the opposition called its bluff.

The night they voted Harper down, and the bells were ringing,
The night they knocked off King Steve's crown, and the people were singin'.
They went "Meet our Kyoto goals, obey the law, you buncha assholes,
Never mind the hypocrisy, remember this is a democracy."

We signed Kyoto in 2002, gave Canada a lotta work t'do
Reducin' gas emissions and makin' some tough decisions.
The Liberals dithered, the Cons stood in the way, never heard what the people did say,
To meet our targets, the majority pushed, but Harper only listens to George Bush.

The night they voted Harper down, and the bells were ringing,
The night they knocked off King Steve's crown, and the people were singin'.
They went "Meet our Kyoto goals, obey the law, you buncha assholes,
Forget the hypocrisy, remember this is a democracy."

The Liberals and Martin, had programs just barely startin'
The Cons came in and gave 'em the axe, shot down any talk of a carbon tax.
Kyoto's still new but it's doin' some good Steve Harper never understood
But Parliament spoke, Harper's not exempt
Obey the law or be charged with contempt.

The night they voted Harper down, and the bells were ringing,
The night they knocked off King Steve's crown, and the people were singin'.
They went "Meet our Kyoto goals, obey the law, you buncha assholes,
Set aside your hypocrisy, remember this is a democracy."

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD OR STREAM MP3 AUDIO

Yeow! When I recorded it up this mornin' I made a couplafew ad lib changes an' I repeated the last chorus twice but it's mostly the same as how I wrote it.

JimBobby