Food Crisis: Praise for George W. Bush

Whooee! Well friends an' foes, I like to give credit where credit's due an' right now, I'm gonna tip my tuque in the unlikely direction of Merkan President George W. Bush. Now, I'm gonna set aside all the dumbass stuff Dubya's done like waste a half a trillion dollars on a fiasco in EyeRack or oversee the collapse of the Merkan banking and housing sectors or suspend human rights in a trumped up War on Terror. Fer just a few minutes, I'm gonna look the other way and pat ol' Dubya on the back.

Yesterday, Bush asked Congress to dole out another $770 million in food aid. The Merkans already pumped an extra $200 million into food for the hungry a coupla weeks ago. Before that, they added an additional $350 million to the $1.6 billion the Merkans put into food aid every year.

The World Food Program has been asking for $755 million to get it over the hump in this food crisis. A coupla days ago, Canada stepped up with an additional $50 million on top of the $185 million we'd already pledged.

So, I say good on you, Georgie W, fer diggin' in and findin' that extra $770 million. It oughta go a long way in stavin' off a few million deaths by starvation.

Okay, now I'm gonna quit lookin' the other way.

When we talk about $770 million bucks, it sure sounds like a whole lotta dough. You might ask yerself what George Dubya coulda bought with that money if he hadn't decided to feed a few million hungry people. Well, here's one thing he coulda bought. He coulda bought one more day of war fightin' in EyeRack.

That's right, boys'n'girls, the Merkans spend over $700 million bucks in EyeRack every single day, 365 days a year.

Golly-gosh gee whiz, do you figger the war in EyeRack might be somehow connected to the food crisis?

Hmmm... could be... All that war spendin' without any ROI is one of the biggest reasons the US dollar's in the pooper. The low US dollar is what's drivin' up the price of oil. The high fuel costs affect transportation and grocery prices that are a part of the reason so many Merkans can't keep up with their mortgage payments. And, the collapse of the US mortgage market has driven speculators into commodities. And, along with high oil prices, commodities speculation has been another big factor in the food crisis. High oil prices have created a demand for biofuels. Biofuels are competing with traditional grains and are driving up the cost of food.

Now, everybuddy knows that hungry people are angry people. Even George W. Bush knows that. The Merkans got their CIA intelligence fellers an' gals stalkin' 'round every hellhole on the planet. I reckon main CIA headquarters' phones been ringin' off the hook the past few months. There's been food riots and violence in countries all over the world. Anybuddy don't think the CIA had somebuddy in most of those countries reportin' back to Washington?

The food crisis threatens to unleash a wave of violence that would multiply the EyeRack and Afghanistan and African and South American conflicts to worldwide chaos. The Merkans don't have enough riot police in their mighty military to quell that sorta new world disorder. The smartest strategy would be to make sure the poor bastards don't get so hungry that they storm the Bastille.

So, I'm givin' praise to George W. Bush for strategy. I can't say fer sure whether it's strategy dressed up like charity or charity with a strategic motive. It's a welcome additional $770 million whyever it got there.

JimBobby

Canada Signs Bush Nuke Plan, Hidden Agenda Glowing in the Dark

Whooee! Well friends an' foes, I can hardly keep from poundin' my fingers through the keyboard. I'm pissed off. Dang pissed off. This morning, I learned that our country has signed on to the Global Nuclear Energy Partnership (GNEP). If you never heard of it, I ain't surprised. Whenever anybody's asked about it, the HarpoonTossers clammed up. Just this September at the APEC Summint, they was asked and they wouldn't even say if they were sending a representative to a Vienna GNEP meeting.

Now, they've announced that we're part of Bush's nuclear energy policy. They say it's a done deal.

There was no parliamentary debate. There was no public consultation. There was no public information campaign.

Major international energy agreements that encompass all aspects of a dangerous and controversial technology cannot appear out of thin air. Canada's involvement is now a fact. Canada's involvement up til now has been shrouded in secrecy.

So, yer askin', what's wrong with GNEP?

Since the 1970's, Canada has had a moritorium on the reprocessing of spent nuclear fuel. This is because reprocessing spent nuclear fuel creates an unacceptable security risk. The reprocessed fuel can be fashioned into a nuclear weapon. I ain't talkin' about just a dirty bomb. I'm talkin' about an A-bomb. GNEP fosters reprocessing.

Canada is the world's largest producer of uranium. GNEP requires uranium producers to repatriate spent nuclear fuel. Canada will become the world's largest nuclear waste dump.

GNEP may be the first step towards Canada dismantling AECL, the crown corporation responsible for the development and sale of CANDU reactors. Avro Arrow, anyone?

A hat tip to Politics'n'Poetry and Accidental Deliberations.

Chewin' nails an' fartin' tacks,

JimBobby

"Soft on Terrorism?" Don't Insult Our Intelligence

Whooee! Well friends an' foes, I was jest over t' StageLeft an' the Stage Coach Driver's got a boog story with a good letter t' Pryminister Steve tellin' Harpoon what's what an' what's his job in question period. It ain't rocket science. His job is t' answer questions.

Reason he wrote the letter was on accounta when King Steve got asked 'bout how he's gonna help out the autoworkers in Ontariariario, Steve answered back that Dion's soft on terrism. That got me writin' a bigass comment an' now I'm recyclin' most o' that selfsame comment inta this here boog story.

That ol’ “soft on terrism” crappola don’t cut any shit with most Canajuns, anymore - if it ever did. Harpoon might reinforce the support o’ sum Boogin’ Tories or Alien Alberts but he ain’t gonna win over any new Cons by usin’ Georgie Dubya’s wornout name-callin’ tactics. Bush’s in the dumper. He might still be Harpoon’s hero but he ain’t got the support of even 30% of his own Merkan people an’ he’s a liability t’ his own Repugnacian party.

Canajuns ain’t livin’ in a vacuum. We get the bigass Merkan news networks on our TV’s. We heard that dumbass line bein’ used by the Bushman an’ we know that under the Bushman’s reign of terror, terrism has become a bigger troublem. His version o’ bein’ tuff has helped make the world a less safe place an’ there ain’t much of anybuddy who don’t see it that way in 2007.

We ain’t stoopid enuff t’ fall fer that BushTalk from outta our pryminister. I reckon Harpoon’s insultin’ the intelligence o’ Canajuns. Not only by this dumbass Bushism but by thinkin’ nobuddy notices when he doesn’t answer the question. Come t’ think of it, he’s insultin’ Canajuns’ intelligence with that ridiculous green disguise he’s been wearin’ lately. Green, my ass.

Regardin’ the dirty ol’ car makers, there’s a golden opportunity in the green economy department. We give billions in tax breaks t’ the big 3 an’ we can put sum strings on the corporate welfare so’s they hafta do things like produce hybrid cars instead o’ Lincoln Navigators in Canajun factories. Mebbe even hybrid Navigators, who knows?

We can also encourage the automakers t’ clean up their act and reduce their own carbon footprint. I’m talkin’ tax breaks fer implementin’ emissions reduction. That money is money we keep here in Canada instead o’ payin’ it out in Kyoto penalties t’ other countries. Win-win stuff.

Harpoon’s got quit insultin’ our intelligence an’ start usin’ that big egghead o’ his t’ work on solutions instead o’ all o’ this here natterin’ negativity an’ polytickle finger pointin’.

JimBobby