Wednesday, May 04, 2005

That's a Damn Big Burger

burgerWhooee! I jest come across this here story 'bout a burger joint down in Pennsylvania that cooked up a 15 pound hamburger. Now, beef don't agree with Ma's constitution so around JimBobby's house we don't eat too much of it. I figger mebbe I oughta be eatin' more red meat jest t' keep my testosterone an' killer instinct at the right level. I don't reckon I'd be able t' get too far inta that there 15 pounder with or without cheese, though.

When I read the story in the Pittsburg Post-Gazette, sumpin' 'bout it din't seem quite right.
The burger starts out, as burgers typically do, as a large slab of raw ground meat -- 280 ounces of extra lean beef shipped up from Pittsburgh. That's enough beef to make 70 McDonald's quarter pounders.
Now, mebbe I ain't the bestest when it comes t' spellin' an' grammar but I reckon I ain't so bad at doin' the multiplyin' an' dividin'. If they had 280 ounces an' there's 16 ounces in a pound an' 4 ounces in a quarter-pound, then they're right bout the part where it'd make 70 quarter pounders. The thing is, they sez the burger's 15 pounds an' 280 ounces is really 17 an' a haff pounds.

It sure weren't fast food. They hadta cook that baby fer 2 an' a haff hours.

Yores trooly,


Anonymous said...

Ahhhh, but cooked weight is usually lower because fat and water come out of the meat during the cooking process. That probably accounts for the difference.

My question...who would eat a 15 pound burger (although I have to admit it looked kind of asthetically pleasing, even pretty, in a burgery sort of way)?

JimBobby said...

Whooee! I reckon them big burgs might be a good way t' move sum o' that beef the Merkins ain't lettin' cross the borderline. Funny thing 'bout all that surplus is I ain't seen any big drop in the price o' beefsteaks down t' the grocery store.