Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Krazy Kim vs. Dumbass Dubya

Whooee! This whole Dubya vs. the Axis of Evil thing is ironic, sez I.

On the one side, you got North Korea. They’re probbly the biggest isolationists in the whole world. They repress their people an’ they spend too much money on their military an’ not enuff on their citizens’ welfare. They operate outta fear o’ the Merkins.

On the other side, you got what’s s’posed t’ be the world’s most open democracy an’ a champion o’ free trade an’ human rights. They say they wanna spread their brand o’ democracy t’ places like Afghanny, Iraq, Iran, N.Korea.

Now, if Merka’s winnin’ then North Korea’d be lookin’ more open an’ democratic an’ it’d be spendin’ less on atom bombs an’ more on food an’ medicine. That ain’t happenin’.

If North Korea’s winnin’ then the Merkins’d be lookin’ more isolationist an’ they’d be increasin’ their military spendin’ an’ reducin’ what they spend on keepin’ their citizens well-fed an’ healthy. They’d be tryin’ t’ be more like the North Koreans.

That’s what’s been happenin’ under GWB. The Merkins ain’t been successful at spreadin’ democracy. They been adoptin’ the selfsame sorta policies them there Evil AxGrinders is usin'.
  • They wanna build walls ’round Merka;
  • They been on a military spendin’ spree while their food supply is gettin’ E.Coli;
  • They been passin’ laws limitin’ freedom o’ speech an’ the press;
  • They been lockin’ up people without trials or charges;
  • They been legalizin’ torture;
  • They been tightenin’ up the trade laws an’ makin’ it tuffer fer Canajuns t’ sell ‘em our beef an’ 2×4’s;
  • The number o’ Merkins without healthcare has gone up along with number gettin’ killed in Iraq;
  • They been workin’ on a new generation o’ smaller nuclear weapons;
  • They’re showin’ less’n'less respect fer other countries an’ scoff at the UN.
So, who’s winnin’? Have the Merkins made any progress turnin’ them Axis nations inta sumpin’ like Merka? Or, has Merka turned itself inta sumpin’ more closely resemblin’ North Korea?

Yores trooly,


bigcitylib said...

You ever see "The President's Psychoanalyst"? where the Russian spys says that the U.S. is moving left, Russia is moving right, and one day they'll join hands and meet in the center. Well, wherever the U.S. and N.K. meet, it won't be the center.

JimBobby said...

Whooee! Thankee kindly fer droppin' by an' makin' a comment, BigCityFeller.

The "centre" is constantly shiftin', I reckon, but I ain't sure who's right an' who's left, anymore. I figger there's an axle of evil an' it's got a left wheel an' a right wheel. They're movin' in the selfsame direction towards the edge of a big drop called Climate Change Cliff.