Sunday, February 20, 2005

Outrage o' the Week

Whooee! I like watchin' them pundidiot fellers an' gals onta the CNN Capital Gangster Show on Saturday evenin's. They got themselves that smiley-faced feller Bobby Novak what spilled the beans on the CIA spy lady Valerie Plame an' they got that little munchkin-lookin' gal Margie Carlson that's onta the lefthand side o' the fence an' that there Katie O'Beirne who sounds like she'd like t' take over Monica Lewinsky's position under Dubya's desk in the oval office an' that white-haired ol' Al Hunt that looks sorta like a Kennedy an' the guy what usually runs the show is the pudgy one with the big specs, Mark Shields.

One o' the things them there Capital Gangsters do at the end of every show is this thing they call the Outrage o' the Week. Since I aim t' be a bigtime booger in the Canajun boogeysphere, I thought I'd do a little copycattin' on that idee an have me an Outrage o' the Week an' since I been boogin' fer about a week now, I'd better get at it if I'm gonna do it. So this is it.

What's got me so mad I could chew nails an' fart tacks is this here bizness 'bout these rotten bastards that's killing them there baldy eagles out there in BC an' choppin'm up fer parts. So far, they found 26 o' these here mutilated eagles an' who's t' say there ain't more what ain't been found yet. I see now that a First Nations bunch an' a township bunch has pooled their dough an' are offerin' up a reward o' $4,000.

Now from what I hear tell, these sumbitches that's doin' the eagle murderin' is sellin' the big feathers an' the clawfeet as sum sorta souvenirs or fer their magical powers an' these here bird parts fetch a pretty penny in the black marketplace. I think it'd be a good idee if that there reward money could be more than the measly $4,000 an' mebbe the providential gummint or the gummint o' Canadee could get in on the act an' raise up the bounty on these here dickheads that's killin' them eagles.

Yores trooly,
JimBobby

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hey Jim Bobby - did you know that Bald Eagles aren't an endangered species in Canada?

JimBobby said...

Whooee! Well, anonfeller, if you say it then it must be true on accounta yer an anonymous source. Now I know that an' I know that fish fart underwater. What I don't know is what in the Jeezuz has that's got t' do with the price o' eggs.

Yores trooly,
JimBobby

Anonymous said...

Awesome eagle pic.
tz
heartofcanada.ca

JimBobby said...

Whooee! I jest saw on the Lloyd Robertson TV News Show that they found another 14 dead eagles in BC. When they catch these sumbitches, I say sumbuddy should cut their feet off an' let'm bleed out.

Yores trooly,
JimBobby

Anonymous said...

Well it just goes to show what all the endangered species laws have actually done to "protect" Eagles and other birds. They've merely created a very profitable black market for eagle-parts in the United States. Since Eagles aren't an endangered species in Canada (there are lots of them, and nowhere near close to extintinction in these parts) killing them bothers me (and other rational people) about as much as slaughter of chickens that comprised my last KFC meal!

Anonymous said...

http://www.hww.ca/hww2.asp?id=27&cid=7

"Canadian Bald Eagle populations are generally stable or increasing slightly, although the situation varies regionally."

JimBobby said...

Whooee! When I posted this here Outrage o' the Week 'bout them sumbitches doin' what they's doin' t' them there birdies o' prey, I never thought I'd snare me one here in my boog. Ol' Anonyfeller, don't give his name but he's tellin' lots 'bout hisself. Mostly, he's tellin'everbuddy that he's oatmeal above the eyebrows on accounta he don't know that them there baldy eagles was onta the verge o' goin' the way o' them other flappin' birds, the dodobird an' the passenger pigeon, before they started t' fallin' underneath the protection o' sum laws.

Them laws calls fer bigass money fines fer sumbitches that kill baldy eagles an' that's why they gotta few flappin' their big ol' wing feathers inta BC. When it comes t' havin' an excess o' livin' creatures that could use sum thinnin' out, JimBobby sez let's thin us out a few dumbfucks like this here KFC chicken-eatin' shitferbrains.

Yores trooly,
JimBobby

glenda said...

Habitat destruction, introduction of exotic species, overexploitation, disease and pollution are contributing factors in an animals' demise.

While protection laws may up the monetary return on black market trade in eagle parts, to suggest those laws have increased demand is a little hard to swallow.
To suggest that rational people don’t care any more about Bald Eagles than they do a boiler hen is just wrong and narrow sighted. These birds on occasion visit down here on the farm and we rational people try very hard to make them welcome

JimBobby said...

Whooee! Thankee fer chimin' in on the rational side o' the fence, GlendaGal. The way you sed it was a might more civilized-like an' convincin' than the way I done. I ain't so sure ol' AnonyAsswipe will understand, though, on accounta his IQ is lower'n room temperature.

Yores trooly,
JimBobby

Andrew said...

If you poach you shot be shot.

Simple.

Anon is dead wrong with all his/her nonsense about "well they're not endangered, so it's alright" garbage.

JimBobby said...

Whooee! Yer on the money, Andyfeller. 'Ceptin' mebbe shootin's too good fer these sumbitches an' choppin' off their feet is more like it. They ain't got any tailfeathers but I ken think of sumpin' to do to 'em in that region.

Homo sapiens poachers' ain't an endangered species an' their population's growin'. A few footless shitsferbrains ain't gonna be missed the least little bit.

Yores trooly,
JimBobby

Anonymous said...

" killing them bothers me (and other rational people) about as much as slaughter of chickens that comprised my last KFC meal!"

The difference, I might point out, is that, when you kill a chicken for a KFC meal, you eat it, you don't cut off certain parts and then throw the rest on the ground in a complete act of desecration. So, unless you plan on eating deep-fried eagle in the next little while, you might consider eating crow over what you wrote.
tz

JimBobby said...

Whooee! Thankee fer throwin' sum more rational cold water onta AnonyNumbnuts's comments, TheresaGal. If we could jest track down that dumbass, mebbe we could get ourselves sum feathers an' rooftar an' decorate'm up like ol' BigBird onta the Sesame Street TV Show.

Yores trooly,
JimBobby

SHYNE said...

Hey Jimbobby,
My dad and I really love the way you put things into perspective. We also love your passion for the bald eagles. I have a hard time understanding poachers of any kind. I also can't help but wondering where thier heart is. It hurts my heart just to think about it. It brings a smile to my face, knowing that there are others out there that care like we do. Thank you.

JimBobby said...

Whooee! Thankee fer them nice things you sed, ShyneyFeller. I'm specially happy t' hear that yer readin' ol' JimBobby Sez along side o' yer Pa. It's a fine thing when younguns an' their Pappy's ken get along an' do sum o' the same things. I got one o' my own younguns sittin' right along side o' me right this minit an' we're doin' the selfsame sorta stuff.

Lovin' animals is a sign of a healthy mind an' you an' yer Pappy sound like extra healthy fellers.

Yores trooly,
JimBobby