Tuesday, February 22, 2005

Language Money: Igloo-builders Gettin' None Of It

Whooee! I jest seen this here CP story in the Yahoo News that starts out with:
Frustrated by what it calls poor funding for Nunavut's mother tongue, the territorial government says it is negotiating with Ottawa to have Inuktitut declared Canada's third official language.
That would force the federal government to correct an imbalance that has it spending more than $3,500 per francophone on French services in Nunavut and nothing on the language most residents actually speak, said territorial Culture Minister Louis Tapardjuk.
The CP sez that that there's only 415 parlay-voo speakers up there in the frozen terrytory but there's 25,500 igloo-builders that do their speechifyin' in their native lingo called Inuktitut. The CP's Bobfeller Weber who wrote up the story sez that neither one o' Canadee's official lingos is what's bein' spoke by most o' folks livin' in None-of-it. Bobfeller sez that 70 percents worth o' the whole ding-dong terrytory is speakin' in that there Tut-tut-tut lingo.

Well, I ain't fer the gummint throwin' money out the window an' I ain't done me much studyin' onta this here native lingo dealie but it seems t' me that ol' Fartin' Martin's civilian servants oughta be able t' talk back an' forth with the folks they's sposed t' be servin'. Ol' PollyWolly opened up the door t' everbuddy an' their second cuzzins lookin' fer sum gummint dough when he give them billions t' ol' Danny Millions. These here igloo-builders ain't askin' fer too much so JimBobby sez let's try t' at least meet'm haffway in the middle.

Yores trooly,
JimBobby

12 comments:

Don said...

I duzn't dink it's particularly funny t'call de Inuit - igloo builders. Is you goin' t'call dem raw fish eaters too? Just cuz' ya' is usin' some funny dialect - whut translato' do ya' use? - duzn't 'suse stereotypin'.

JimBobby said...

Whooee! Donfeller, as per usual, you talk sense. I don't mean any harm when I sez them fellers is igloo-builders. In my book, when sumbuddy's a builder that's a dam good thing t' be. I don't mean any disrespect on accounta they's good fellers an' gals that knows how t' build themselves a hut when they ain't got a tree in sight.

But, Donboy, you might jest have a point 'bout them Inoo mebbe gettin' pissed off if you sez they's igloo-builders an I'm on their side in this here lingo dealie so I'm hopin' I ain't made'm ticked at ol' JimBobby.

How 'bout it, Inoo-fellers an' gals, is JimBobby pissin' you off? If I am, I'll do me sum editin' an try t' mend fences.

How 'bout them folks in the Saskakewan an' Manitobee prairie providences? Ken I call'm sodbusters? BC budsmokers? Alberty cowboyfellers? Newfie fisherfolk? Nova Scotia fiddle-players? PEI tater-farmers? Q-beck parlay-voos? Ontariariario snooty-toots? YankeeDoodlers?

If I piss everbuddy off equal-like, is that good or bad?

Yores trooly,
JimBobby

darcey said...

It is refreshing to see "political correctness" get a slap in the face. My grandfather's manner of speech would have today's "modern" liberals calling him a bigot or a racist. He is however nothing of the sort.

JimBobby said...

Whooee! Thankee fer yer two pennies, Broomsweeper. From what I hear tell, this here boogin' ken be sum tricky when it comes to folks knowin' jest what you mean an' whether yer bein' sarcasticky or nasty or jest plain stoopid.

Ol' JimBobby don't aim t' make too many enemies an I already made one in my Outrage o the Week so I'd jest as soon the Inuit don't throw there pointy whalebones at me.

I'd also rather the Newfoundland and Labradoreans don't stone me with them there rocks they got plenty of.

Or that the Ontarians don't push me over the Niagara Falls.

Or that the Prairie dwellers don't feed me t' the prairie dogs.

Or that the Albertans don't trample me in a stampede.

Or that the British Columbians don't roll me down a mountain.

Or that the Americans don't strap me inta the 'lectric lazyboy.

But I'm still gonna tell it like I see it so if any of'm do those things then it'll be tuff titties fer me. Oopsy. Now I got the gals pissed off on accounta talkin' 'bout titties.

Yores trooly,
JimBobby

Yoda said...

I don't think it's bad to call them Igloo Builders if thats what they really are. I think it's quite a accomplishment if your able to build a Igloo. Anytime I ever tried it it would stay up till I got in it then it collapsed.

JimBobby said...

Whooee! Thankee fer chimin' in Yodafeller. I think yer the firstest extraterrestial t' comment on ol' JimBobby Sez.

I seen a little dockamentry TV show a coupla years ago where they showed this ol' Inoo boy buildin' hisself an igloo. It was a marvel an' a thing o' beauty t' behold. I got a heap o' respect fer anybuddy ken do that an' I ain't jest saying that t' kiss their frozen asses.

Now here's question I got fer you, Yoda, an' sumbuddy's probbly gonna say it's politickly incorrect. You any relation to ol' Gumner General Clarkson? Reason I ask is I see a lotta resemblement between her an' you.

Yores trooly,
JimBobby

Andrew said...

Jimbobby,

I don't see the problem with you calling them igloo builders. This site is understood to be satirical - if we start censoring satire than we may as well give up on humour in society.

Yoda said...

Yeah she comes from the ol' wifee's side of the family, brains didn't get handed out to well on that side.

Mark Francis said...

"Ontariariario snooty-toots?"

Thems fight'n words, ya' hillibillybobby!

D'ya kiss yer cousin-wife with that there mouth?

Or is yer wife ya' sista?

Ya' best keeps away from thems typins of stereos, lest 'ya piss of some.

Balbulican said...

Having worked for a number of years with and among the Inuit, I can assure you that no-one would be offended by being called an igloo-builder.

But don't call them "Inoo"...that's the traditional name for the Montagnais First Nations who live in Labrador...no relation to the Inuit at all.

Confusing, ain't it?

JimBobby said...

Whooee! Thankee fer them comments, fellers. I hear what yer sayin', BalbulicanBoy. I take back my "Inoo" namecallin' that I sed when I shoulda sed when I was talkin' 'bout the Inuit. It is a confuddlement, like you sed, but I oughta be able t' get it through my thick ol' head.

Yores trooly,
JimBobby

stageleft said...

Interestingly enough Nunavut is one of a very small minority of jurisdictions in Canada that is officially bilingual - part of the deal for its creation as I understand it.

You'd think that the fed's would feel somewhat obligated to give Nunavut something linguistic in return for that wouldn't ya?