Whooee! I bin lookin' deeper at this here Canajun boogeysphere an' I see that there's a whole lotta pissin' matches goin' on. There's this here Warrin' Kinsellerfeller got hisself into a snit with some other boogers - Andy and Donny and Normy. Andy and Normy are bigtime newspaper fellers an' Donny's some sorta legendary booger in the boogeysphere. Andy and Normy got last names but Donny's like ol' JimBobby an' he ain't a-tellin' his real name.
They might be a-barkin' up the wrong tree when they start a war with a feller named Warrin'. Seems this Kinsellerfeller's tied in with John Cretin an' Normy sez Kinsellerfeller's the one gave ol' Cretin them there golf balls. Well, not all of 'em. Just the one that came from them Hoggleveee lawyers where ol' Justus Gomery's girl works. Kinsellerfeller ain't tickled t' be called a crook by Andy an' them other fellers an' he sez he's a-gonna drag their sorry asses inta court an' soo 'em fer tellin' lies.
If yer readin' this, ol' Kinsellerfeller, JimBobby ain't a-pointin' any fingers so you don't need to be sooin' me. Besides which, I ain't got anything you'd be wantin' anyways. I might be gettin' me a minnyvan sometime soon, though, but I'd just as soon you don't soo it out from under my sorry ass on account I'm gonna use it fer daycare fer the younguns.
Yores trooly,
JimBobby
6 comments:
Fuck, man. That stuff must be hard to write. If it's hard to read, it must be harder to write.
I predict you won't last six months, but I'm notoriously pessimistic!
Best
Kinseller-feller
Whooee! I got me my first comment on my boog an' it come from a bigtime booger. Thankee kindly fer chimin' in, Kinsellerfeller. Yer on the money 'bout this bein' hard writin'. I only bin at it fer less'n six days. Six months'll be a real piss-cutter. As my ol' Pappy used t' say, if'n a job's worth doin' it's worth doin' right.
Thankee kindly, Len. I aim t' make my mark here an' become a bigtime booger like these here other fellers I bin a-readin'. I jest went by yer boog an' see that you gave me a big howdy. A dubble thankee comin' back atcha! I see yer wavin' the flag, too. Purty. I'm a-gonna see about gettin' me a flag t' wave here on my boog.
It is a gas - best regards.
Everyone is talking about how it looks like Kinseller lost the war. Andy & Normy whooped his *ss.
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