Monday, February 21, 2005

Into the Valley of Death Rode the 133

Whooee! Away back in sum olden days a poetfeller name o' Alfred the Lord o' Tennisplayers wrote hisself a poem that starts out like this:
Half a league, half a league,
Half a league onward,
All in the valley of Death
Rode the six hundred.
"Forward, the Light Brigade!
"Charge for the guns!" he said:
Into the valley of Death
Rode the six hundred.
That there poem come t' mind when I read this here story inta the Trawna Star 'bout the Gritfellers an' the Toryfellers an' the Blockfellers all makin' sum preemie-emptive moves so's Canajuns aren't pointin' their fingers when an' if this here gummint falls down on its ass on accounta ol' Fartin' Martin's budget is a flop in the parliment. Ol' AlfieBoy's poem made me think that the Valley o' Death was the commonhouse o' parliment an' the 600 was the 133 in ol' Pryminister PollyWolly's brigade. Sum smartypants fellers call that all gorey but I don't expect no real blood t' flow.

Now when you wanna read a story inta the Trawna Star, you gotta sign up with'm an' tell'm a few tidbits 'bout yerself. Sum folks like protectin' their privacy so they don't wanna do that. Fer them that don't think that the horseyback ridin' RCMPfellers an' the C-SISSIES an' the YankeeDoodlin' FBI an' the CIA don't already know which hand you use t' wipe yer poophole, I'm pastin' a little bit o' that there Trawna Star piece in here.
The Liberals and opposition parties are already set to blame each other if the federal budget to be delivered on Wednesday were to be defeated, bringing down the minority government and plunging the country into an election.
The Starpaper story has sum little quotations from a smatterin' o' remembers o' parliment all sayin' it's gonna be the other fellers' fault if Canajuns get forced t' take that there plunge. Plungin' inta most things ain't so pleasant. Plungin' inta cold water when yer ice fishin' an' yer sheepboots fill up ain't any fun. Gettin' yer head shoved underwater in one o' them there babtism tanks can't be fun but sum folks sez it's like they's comin' outta the birth-hole a second time an' that makes'm happy as Larry.

I hear tell lotsa Canajuns ain't too thrilled 'bout takin' a plunge inta the election pool so soon after the last dip only last June. I ain't so sure. I think it's mostly the big P party poopers holdin' the party purse-strings is all nervouslike 'bout plungin'. Ol' JimBobby likes it when there's an election campaign on accounta all them politicky fellers an' gals come by the house an' make promises they ain't gonna keep an' get up onta the TV an' throw dirt inta the face o' the other fellers an' that's so funny that it makes the tears roll down yer pantlegs.

The onliest troublem I see with havin' an election vote is that fer weeks an' weeks afterwards, the remembers o' parliment fergit 'bout the votin' Canajuns an sit on their big fat politicky keesters an' don't do diddly. So use yer plunger or don't but let's get down t' brass tacks an' take care o' the bizness o' runnin' this here home an' native land.

Yores trooly,
JimBobby

4 comments:

darcey said...

I have never had issues with "politicky fellers" if they drink it first.

I'm up for a vote and I'm also up for a good old tar and feathering.

Don said...

Keep in mind Bo-Jangles dat da damn To'ies is supposedly in de best fiscal shape. Problem is, fo' dem, dat deir convenshun be only some couple weeks away. Slap mah fro! Keep down de baaaad wo'k. Ya' know?

JimBobby said...

Whooee! Thankee fer puttin' in yer two penniesworth, Donfeller. Believe it or don't, I know zackly what yer sayin'. I figger an election vote right away quick-like after the Toryfellers have that there policy meetup would be a good thing fer ol' Harpoon an' his bunch on accounta they'd be all fresh in the public eyeball. These here mainstreet media fellers'll be fallin' all over themselves t' cover that Tory tent meetin'. That's what they call free publicity that money can't buy.

Yores trooly,
JimBobby

Mark Francis said...

Hmmmm... throw the budget to once again catch the CPC without a platform?

Also, with SSM still hanging around as an issue to bang the CPC over the head with?

We'll see...