Whooee! Well friends an' foes, I expect some foes'll be reading this boog on accounta I'm gonna tell why I write like I do an' when sumbuddy growses in some comments an' goes off all ad hominem-like on JimBobby, I figger I'll jest send 'em over t' this here boog post where I'll tell 'em what's what. That way there, I won't be the cause o' somebuddy's comments goin' all off-topic with commenters yammerin' about ol' JimBobby instead the thing they's sposed t' be yappin' about.
If you ain't got any troublem with my way o' writin', you probbly don't need t' read any more from here on. I thankee fer stoppin' by an' I'll try t' have sumpin' better next time. This here boog post is mostly fer explainin' 'bout JimBobby t' sum unfortunates an' illiterates an' lazyasses an' sum that's a little slow on the uptake. The rest o' yer probbly thinkin' ol' JimBobby's sure fullovimself today, ain't he? Yeow! I wouldn't blame you the teensiest. I sorta wish I din't hafta come out an explain all this but like I sed, sum folks is slow on the uptake an' they need stuff spelled out fer 'em.
Coupla folks sez t' me how come yer a Canajun an' you talk like sum Texas cowboy or Tennessee plowboy. Well, mebbe you think ol' JimBobby sounds like a Merkin southern boy because yer readin' that way yerself. Waltz yer ass inta any Timmy Horton's an' listen t' the folks yammerin' an' blatherin' on about pitbulls an' politics an' the price o' gas. If you was t' transcribe that talkin' accurate-like, it'd look a lot like ol' JimBobby's way o' writin'. I'm considerin' addin' an audio podcast t' this here JimBobby Sez site an' you'll be able to hear what JimBobby sounds like an' it ain't like a southern cracker, no two ways.
Sum folks think ol' JimBobby is a redneck. I'm a country boy, true enuff, but I wouldn't call myself a redneck. I don't take no offense t' anybuddy else callin' me that on accounta it's harmless an' sum folks figger anybuddy lives more'n 50 miles outside o' the centre o' the universe - that being Trawna - is a redneck. When I set foot in Trawna once in a while, probbly everybuddy meets me thinks I'm a hick an' I am. Sum cityfellers don't know the difference between a hick an' a redneck. No big deal, sez I. No sense givin' 'em a vocubulary lesson an' makin' 'em feel bad.
Way back weeks an' weeks ago when I first started in with this way o' writin' after I had the grand launch day fer my boog, I had a few fellers an' mebbe a gal or two ask why I write the way I do. I think one of'm sed, "Why do you write like an idiot?" Well friends, I tried t' give an answer an' I ain't the fastest typewritin' guy in the world an' my way o' writin' ain't easy. I ain't been boogin' long but I already got me a few tricks o' the boogin' trade an I used the linkin' up networkin' powers o' the world wide web t' save myself sum typewritin' labour. Anything t' get outta work, sez I.
Here's a link to a boog with sum comments 'bout my way o' writin'. Here's another'n. Here's another. There's a few more floatin' around here an' there. There's lots more but I'd feel too full o' myself if I was t' post every ding-dong link.
Now, I never made any bones 'bout the fact that I aim t' become a bigtime booger in the Canajun boogeysphere. I aim t' do that by becomin' a damn good booger. I know that a successful bigtime booger hasta have a personality. Sum boogers got tuff guy personalities an' sum is pussycats an' put pitchers o' pussycats onta their boogs. Sum boogers got these here sexy boogs where they tell you stuff you'd rather not know 'bout their body parts an' where they been puttin' 'em. (Probbly more like where they wished they was puttin' 'em.) Ol' JimBobby is jest doin' his best t' make a big ol' mark in the boogeysphere, leastwise in the Canajun boogeysphere. I ain't shootin' fer worldwide fame but I ain't turnin' it down neither.
So far, my devious plan t' write it like I talk it an' t' tell it like I see it is workin' out purty good. I got me a good number o' fellers an' gals stoppin' by an' jawin' a bit an' they's puttin' links t' my boog onta their boogrolls an' I'm doin' likewise fer them. There's a whole buncha a nice fellers an' gals roamin' 'round this here boogeysphere, no two ways. I'm happy as Larry t' know 'em an' I'm makin' sum good boogin' buddies, yessiree.
I don't really know 'bout any rules t' the boogeysphere but I reckon commonsense rules is what flies here like everywhere else. I try t' use commonsense when I'm boogin' an' if sumbudy tells me t' piss off, well unless sum other buddy sez i shouldn't piss off, then I'll usually jest piss off. Unless I am pissed off an' then mebbe I'll offer sum dumbass a JimBobby-flavoured knuckle samwitch. That don't happen too much but I gotta admit it's happened once or twice. How many years d'you figger I could get in the slammer fer makin' that offer they can refuse?
An' speakin' o' commonsense... Sheee-it! That's mainly what I'm all about. If sumbuddy's got a big ol' boog comments gabfest goin' on, I try t' chime in with a commonsense thought o' my own 'bout the topic. An o' course, it's jest commonsense t' stay on the selfsame topic an' not bring up sumpin' new from outta left field. If I see sum dumbass sayin' sumpin' stoopid in a boog, well my commonsense sez I should tell'm they're a dumbass an' tell 'em why. Same goes fer tellin' folks that they're smart as whip or right on the money or that they ain't jest whistlin' The Maple Leaf Ferever.
Commonsense from the common man in common language. If yer still readin' an' yer this far inta my blatherin' then surely t' Jeezuz yer smart enuff t' get what I'm sayin'. An' here's a little tip fer makin' it easier t' read my way o' writin' - try t' read out loud or leastwise move yer lips. I betch'll have ol' JimBobby's words jest drippin'off yer tongue in no time.
An' like it sez up at the top right underneath the big JimBobby Sez boog title:
"If you don't like my way o' writin', jest change the channel."