Saturday, March 12, 2005

JimBobby Boogin' About JimBobby's Boogin' (he's fulluvimself)

Whooee! Well friends an' foes, I expect some foes'll be reading this boog on accounta I'm gonna tell why I write like I do an' when sumbuddy growses in some comments an' goes off all ad hominem-like on JimBobby, I figger I'll jest send 'em over t' this here boog post where I'll tell 'em what's what. That way there, I won't be the cause o' somebuddy's comments goin' all off-topic with commenters yammerin' about ol' JimBobby instead the thing they's sposed t' be yappin' about.

If you ain't got any troublem with my way o' writin', you probbly don't need t' read any more from here on. I thankee fer stoppin' by an' I'll try t' have sumpin' better next time. This here boog post is mostly fer explainin' 'bout JimBobby t' sum unfortunates an' illiterates an' lazyasses an' sum that's a little slow on the uptake. The rest o' yer probbly thinkin' ol' JimBobby's sure fullovimself today, ain't he? Yeow! I wouldn't blame you the teensiest. I sorta wish I din't hafta come out an explain all this but like I sed, sum folks is slow on the uptake an' they need stuff spelled out fer 'em.

Coupla folks sez t' me how come yer a Canajun an' you talk like sum Texas cowboy or Tennessee plowboy. Well, mebbe you think ol' JimBobby sounds like a Merkin southern boy because yer readin' that way yerself. Waltz yer ass inta any Timmy Horton's an' listen t' the folks yammerin' an' blatherin' on about pitbulls an' politics an' the price o' gas. If you was t' transcribe that talkin' accurate-like, it'd look a lot like ol' JimBobby's way o' writin'. I'm considerin' addin' an audio podcast t' this here JimBobby Sez site an' you'll be able to hear what JimBobby sounds like an' it ain't like a southern cracker, no two ways.

Sum folks think ol' JimBobby is a redneck. I'm a country boy, true enuff, but I wouldn't call myself a redneck. I don't take no offense t' anybuddy else callin' me that on accounta it's harmless an' sum folks figger anybuddy lives more'n 50 miles outside o' the centre o' the universe - that being Trawna - is a redneck. When I set foot in Trawna once in a while, probbly everybuddy meets me thinks I'm a hick an' I am. Sum cityfellers don't know the difference between a hick an' a redneck. No big deal, sez I. No sense givin' 'em a vocubulary lesson an' makin' 'em feel bad.

Way back weeks an' weeks ago when I first started in with this way o' writin' after I had the grand launch day fer my boog, I had a few fellers an' mebbe a gal or two ask why I write the way I do. I think one of'm sed, "Why do you write like an idiot?" Well friends, I tried t' give an answer an' I ain't the fastest typewritin' guy in the world an' my way o' writin' ain't easy. I ain't been boogin' long but I already got me a few tricks o' the boogin' trade an I used the linkin' up networkin' powers o' the world wide web t' save myself sum typewritin' labour. Anything t' get outta work, sez I.

Here's a link to a boog with sum comments 'bout my way o' writin'. Here's another'n. Here's another. There's a few more floatin' around here an' there. There's lots more but I'd feel too full o' myself if I was t' post every ding-dong link.

Now, I never made any bones 'bout the fact that I aim t' become a bigtime booger in the Canajun boogeysphere. I aim t' do that by becomin' a damn good booger. I know that a successful bigtime booger hasta have a personality. Sum boogers got tuff guy personalities an' sum is pussycats an' put pitchers o' pussycats onta their boogs. Sum boogers got these here sexy boogs where they tell you stuff you'd rather not know 'bout their body parts an' where they been puttin' 'em. (Probbly more like where they wished they was puttin' 'em.) Ol' JimBobby is jest doin' his best t' make a big ol' mark in the boogeysphere, leastwise in the Canajun boogeysphere. I ain't shootin' fer worldwide fame but I ain't turnin' it down neither.

So far, my devious plan t' write it like I talk it an' t' tell it like I see it is workin' out purty good. I got me a good number o' fellers an' gals stoppin' by an' jawin' a bit an' they's puttin' links t' my boog onta their boogrolls an' I'm doin' likewise fer them. There's a whole buncha a nice fellers an' gals roamin' 'round this here boogeysphere, no two ways. I'm happy as Larry t' know 'em an' I'm makin' sum good boogin' buddies, yessiree.

I don't really know 'bout any rules t' the boogeysphere but I reckon commonsense rules is what flies here like everywhere else. I try t' use commonsense when I'm boogin' an' if sumbudy tells me t' piss off, well unless sum other buddy sez i shouldn't piss off, then I'll usually jest piss off. Unless I am pissed off an' then mebbe I'll offer sum dumbass a JimBobby-flavoured knuckle samwitch. That don't happen too much but I gotta admit it's happened once or twice. How many years d'you figger I could get in the slammer fer makin' that offer they can refuse?

An' speakin' o' commonsense... Sheee-it! That's mainly what I'm all about. If sumbuddy's got a big ol' boog comments gabfest goin' on, I try t' chime in with a commonsense thought o' my own 'bout the topic. An o' course, it's jest commonsense t' stay on the selfsame topic an' not bring up sumpin' new from outta left field. If I see sum dumbass sayin' sumpin' stoopid in a boog, well my commonsense sez I should tell'm they're a dumbass an' tell 'em why. Same goes fer tellin' folks that they're smart as whip or right on the money or that they ain't jest whistlin' The Maple Leaf Ferever.

Commonsense from the common man in common language. If yer still readin' an' yer this far inta my blatherin' then surely t' Jeezuz yer smart enuff t' get what I'm sayin'. An' here's a little tip fer makin' it easier t' read my way o' writin' - try t' read out loud or leastwise move yer lips. I betch'll have ol' JimBobby's words jest drippin'off yer tongue in no time.

An' like it sez up at the top right underneath the big JimBobby Sez boog title:
"If you don't like my way o' writin', jest change the channel."

Yores trooly,
JimBobby

18 comments:

Anonymous said...

"my way o' writin' ain't easy...."

No, it isn't. That's why I assumed you were actually a professional writer when I first came across your "boog." And why I've been a faithful reader ever since. Some folks just don't know good writing skills and "stepping into character" when they see it.

If you have a private email addy posted somewhere, please point me to it. I'd love to send you links to articles, one or two of which you may not have come across and to which you might like to "boog some."

Cheers. I look forward to every discombobulated word you have to say.

VW said...

Actually, it's not so much a Texan as it is a certain farmer from Parry Sound, Ontario. I don't think we've had a member of the Farquharson family in the Blogosphere, but I don't mind the reading.

May I suggest that you head over to www.ragingkraut.com and make yourself known? We at the Red Ensign Brigade would certainly like to see more of your wit.

Scott Tribe said...

JimBobby:

I just came over here to see what you had said after reading your post at BlogsCanada (and managing to take the subject off-topic.. for which I had to try and put the train back on the tracks :) )

Man... I thought my columns was a rant... you've done me 1 better ;)

Cheers... and keep on blogging.

Tony said...

I think you're doing a great job of boogin' JimBobby, and I look forward to your future essays. Your shtick works for me, and it seems to me that your "Commonsense from the common man in common language" approach is a solid foundation to build on.

Funny that others have mentioned "professional writer" and "Farquharson". I've thought those too. But what's more important is that you're JimBobby, a unique voice of sanity in the Canadian boog'sphere.

Anonymous said...

JimBobby,

I see Small Brain Dead Kate is trying to "alert the swarm" -- over the threat of poor ol' Jim Bobby and his
"unintelligble" posts. I get a hint of maritimes when I read ya. It reminds me of my friends back East... way way way back East - past Torana.

Anonymous said...

Gee... you seem rather sensitive about it all. I wouldn't have said anything at all, had I known.

;-)

Kate

Anonymous said...

Actually, come to think of it. It is a much longer version of this sort of thing:

http://www.lewrockwell.com/reed/reed18.html

Jim Bobby's just a Canadian version of Good Ol' Hant.

Meaghan Champion said...

Jim Bobby,

My good man, you've posted a wonderful commentary on "The Blank Out Times" of the whole "Squeegie" image of the bizarre anti-canadian rant of Matt LeBash. I laughed uproariously. Please post it here so that more people can see it!!!!!

JimBobby said...

Whooee! Yer a man after my own heart, Tedward, an' I ain't talkin' 'bout selfsame sexy marryin'. I'm always in fer typewritin' labour-savin' an' I reckon I can take that there comment I laboured over onta yer boog an' make it work fer a boog story here an' save myself sum typewritin' work.

Thankee fer that idee t' help ease my heavy workload. Thems the sorta idees that a new booger can use, no two ways.

I see there's a bunch comments already an' mostly they sez ol' JimBobby shouldn't oughta worry 'bout a few snooty-toots or illiterates or axgrinders who can't tolerate but one kinda writin' an' have a tuff ol' time readin' my scribbles. Thankee fer the support.

I see pore little Katey chimed in an' she's worried she hurt ol' JimBobby's feelin's. Shee-it! Katey, that's alright. I jest figgered you got yerself sum self-image troublems an' yer goin' off all ad hominem is jest t' boost up yer own sorryass ego. I reckon most folks with good self-respect don't hafta post up boog stories aimed at throwin' mud in sumbuddy's face jest so's their own face looks better alongside.

I can see yer feelin' a world o' hurt, KateyGal, an' out in Saskee it's probbly like here in the boonies of Ontariariario. There probbly ain't enuff doctor fellers an' gals t' go 'round an' there probbly ain't any good headshrinkers t' help you out with yer self-esteem troublem. If it's easin' yer hurt by makin' ol' JimBobby yer whippin' boy, well you jest go right on with it. I hope you find sum mental healthcare an' you can learn how not t' get inta so many scraps everywhere you go.

It must be jest eatin' up yer insides, KateyGal. I hear tell they gotta purple pill called Nexium an' another pill called Prozac might help. If you can ever find yerself a headshrinker, mebbe ask'm if they think Nexium an' Prozac is the cocktail fer you.

VW driver, I ain't had time yet t' get t' that there Ragin' Kraut but I'm gonna try fer it today sumtime if I can duck outta Ma's sight an' don't hafta spend too much time in the attic messin' with the squirrel trap.

Anybuddy needs t' email ol' JimBobby, jest send yer love letters t' jimbobbysez@hotmail.com. Unless yer afflicted with a mental healthcare troublem, I'd jest as soon you din't send any hate email letters on accounta I'm a snaggy sensitive new age guy like Katey sez. If yer in need of a whippin' boy, though, like pore little KateyGal, I reckon I'll accept yer hate mail on accounta it's therapy fer yer whacked-out braincells.

Yores trooly,
JimBobby

Princess Monkey said...

Commonsense? Does that even exist anymore? Can someone actually examine issues of the day without resorting to hate monger tactics? Can anyone have a respectful disagreement on principle and not blame the "spin" of the other side when cracks in their arguements are exposed? JimBobby, if you can pull off any of these things - I am quite sure you will enjoy the "super blogger" status you seek. I know many of us amateurs cruising around these sites are sick to death of all the rabid, toxic, and I daresay pathetic "Kates". Oh, and your writing style is obviously intelligble to most. I also read the "squeegee" post. Hilarious if it wasn't so sad.

Anonymous said...

Wow. One gentle critique and a friendly oneliner (didn't you see the emoticon?) generates 8 paragraphs of namecalling response from you?

Most people would have been happy for the traffic.

Just ... wow.

Anonymous said...

Dear Katherine,
I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to give into my nympathy here. Your attack on "Jim Bobby" for this most recent boogy of his, is clearly unwarrented.

Jim Bobbys' blog is a very clever and fascinating demonstration of "Performance Art."

His stuff also appears to be functioning as a kind Rorschach ink blot test.

People who are psychologically healthy read it one way. People who are deeply insecure, read it another way. Basically, I've seen people reading into it, whatever they want.

It is however quite intelligable if one has functioning literacy skills. Try sounding the words out. Reading them aloud. It might help you.

As for your complaint that he is ranting at you. You are barely on the radar screen of what he was alerting his readers to. You know Katherina, you really should stop acting like the bride at every wedding and the corpse at every funeral.

Anonymous said...

I ain't got no troublem with the way yer' writin, an thats awl I gots to say bout that.

Steven Hodson said...

I gotta admit JimBobby your writing style caught me off-guard at first and it does make you easy to discount; but that would be the reader's misfortune.

Keep it up JimBobby.

CanadianBill said...

Hi JimmyBob.... just discovered your blog thanks to a friend at The Next Agenda. Proud to add it to my own blogroll. Personally I care more about content than style, but hey, you have both! Cheers

Annamarie said...

JimBobby, your writing style is original and I can only imagine the work and creative thinking it takes.

Your 'boog' is refreshingly different from most of the stuff out there. I am a great fan and a regular visitor. I'm also appreciative and grateful for all your ongoing help and support regarding the little Canadian boy who's in Texas jail.

Your 'boog' is on top of my favourites list. Keep up the excellent work!

take care and warmest regards,
Annamarie
href="http://verbena19.wordpress.com">Verbena-19

Errcoman said...

Hey JimBobby,
I jest logged on here and I wuz wanderin' if yer a Fred Eaglesmith fan??
He sorta has the same sensibilitees as you do..knowwhutImean?
Peace and goodtimes,
Paul B..Merkin with deep Cajun ruts.

JimBobby said...

Whooee! Thankee fer droppin' by, PaulFeller. Yessirree, I like ol' Fred. He just lives down the road and I catch him every so often. His place burned down awhile back but I hear-tell he back livin' there. I stop by his little store in Port Dover if I need any guitar strings. He also sells electric motor scooters but I ain't shoppin' fer one o' them just yet.

I play in a little band and we cover a coupla Freddie's tunes -- Alcohol & Pills and Drive-in Movie.

JB