Whooee! Well, friends an' foes, if you been payin' any tension t' my blatherin's, you already know how I feel about bowin' an' scrapin' t' Queen Liz an' her brood o' inbred younguns. The royal mouthpiece in Ottywa is ol' General Adrienne Clarkson an' I ain't got much use fer her, neither. The big thing I got against them there royal pains in the ass is they're anti-democracy. T' my way o' thinkin', democracy is when there's an election vote an' everybuddy puts their X on a piece o' paper over t' the Legion Hall an' then we all get to listen to vox populi callin' out the tune.
The snooty-toot royal pains never got elected t' so much as dogcatcher o' Moose Jaw an' it jest goes against my democratic grain t' see 'em gettin' all them perkolaters that come with havin' blue blood coursin' through their inbred veins. This king an' queen an' bonnie prince stuff is sumpin' from way back in olden days when most folks was too damn ignorant t' know any better. We ain't so stoopid now t' be thinkin' that dumbass Prince Harry dressed up like Hitler is better'n anybuddy else's dumbass teenager.
Now this boog story ain't mainly all about the uppity-crusters in the royal henhouse. What I'm growsin' 'bout now is another house an' that's the Upper House o' Parliment an' it's called the Senate o' Canadee. The Senate is sorta like the House o' Lords in merrie olde Englande. In that United Kingdom, they ain't even gotta king but they got a passel o' inbred blue bloods sittin' on their royal keesters in that Upper House o' Lords an' rulin' the roost.
Canadee's Upper House o' Senators don't have no blue bloods but the fellers an' gals sittin' in that house ain't been chosen by the people in an election vote, neither. The way they get made inta senators is by sumpin' called a Pryministerial Edict. Jest the word "edict" gives you a good clue that this ain't democracy in action. It's jest sum dumbass idee left over from olden days o' pomposity an' ceremonial bullshit. When Polly Wolly Fartin' Martin makes his patronage appointments t' the Senate, it's sorta like ol' Queen Liz dubbin' sumbuddy an' sayin' they're a Sir or a Dame an' a peer o' the realm an' fair game fer royal wedlock.
Shee-it! How long we gonna go along with all this kiss-my-royal-ass monarchy social butterfly bizness? Canajuns oughta be electin' the fellers an' gals who sit in the big house in Ottywa. I jest seen a CP news story in the Yahoo News that sez Fartin' Martin's gettin' geared up t' dub hisself sum Senators an' they ain't gonna be elected by the people like in a real democracy.
Now, out in Alberty cowboy country, they sed they wanted t' elect their own senators an' last time they had themselves an election vote, they made sum room on the ballot so's the votin' Alberts could pick out which fellers or gals they'd like t' send up t' Ottywa an' do their biddin' in the Upper House o' Parliment. I ain't so sure the votin' Alberts picked anybuddy better'n Fartin' Martin might pick but at least they picked 'em in an election vote, fair an' square an' democratic.
A few years back, the fellers an' gals from Alberty an' sum other providences come up with a blueprint plan fer makin' renovations t' This Old House - the Senate o' Canadee. They called their big idee the "Triple E" or the "EEE" plan. "Triple E" rolls off yer tongue a bit slipperier than "EEE" so I reckon I'm callin' that plan by the name o' "Triple E."
The reason they call it Triple E is that each o' the big parts starts with "E". I ain't so sure what order they put 'em in an' I ain't sure it matters but them three E's stand fer Elected, Effective an' Equal. T' my way o' thinkin', EEE spells d-e-m-o-c-r-a-c-y. Leastwise, it spells it better'n ol' Pryminister Polly Wolly makin' hisself an edict an' pontifycatin' like sum royal pain an' handin' out tickets t' ride on the Senate o' Canadee gravy train.
Most folks know I hang my hat in Ontariarario an' the E that stands fer Equal might mean that sum Alberty cowboys or Saskatchewanderers get more Senators per votin' citizen. I ain't growsin' on accounta it's a whole lot more democratic-like than how they do it now.
Fartin' Martin's got hisself a perfect chance t' show the pore damn, feelin'-bad, alienated Westerners that he's got an ounce o' respect fer their election votes. Instead o' bein' a mouse in the Upper House, the Pryminister oughta be a man an' do what the Alberty voters sez an' give'm the Senators they voted fer.