Monday, March 28, 2005

Boogers Anonymous

Whooee! Well, boogreaders, I been spendin' sum time in the Canajun boogeysphere where they been yammerin' 'bout anonymous boogin' an' fellers like ol' JimBobby who don't let on who they really are. It started when ol' Elvis over t' BoogsCanadee got hisself a nasty ol' email from sum numbnuts who sed ol' Elvis was pitchin' his tent in the Liberal campground an' everythin' on the BoogsCanadee was all against the Big C Conservative Party o' Canadee.

Most everybuddy sed the bitchin' growser was all wet an' they figger ol' Elvis's Egroup is kinda lefty but's got sum righthand side o' the fence fellers an' gals writin' up boog stories there, too. Turned out this complainin' feller was using the name David St Hubbins an' everybuddy sez that ain't his real name on accounta it's really the name of a feller in that Spinal Tap movie from 1980 sumthin'.

That got everybuddy yammerin' 'bout anonymous an' fake name boogers. That's me. I ain't ever told my real name an' I ain't gonna, neither. Sum big brand-name boogers like ol' Inspector Norm sez they figger everybuddy should use their real names when they do their boogin'. Yeow! That'd cut me out. It'd cut out a whole mess o' other top-notch, no-name boogers. Anyways, who made Inspector Norm king o' the internet?

Ol' PoogyWoogy BugleBoy is a booger who writes stories onta his own boog an' also t' the BoogsCanadee Egroup boog. He ain't tellin' his real name an' why should he? I drop over an' read ol' PoggeBoy a few times a week an' he sez sum smart stuff 'bout the damn WalMarket an' 'bout that pore sumbitch Arar who the horseyback-ridin' policefellers got sent over t' Syria so's he could get all tortured. Ol' Pogge's a smart feller an' a good writer. I ain't gotta know his real name t' see he makes sense.

Ol' Pogg's got hisself a big ol' boog story onta the Egroup called The people's medium 'bout this whole brand-name vs. no-name. It's gettin' a lot o' comments an' there's sum good readin' there.

Now, there's a coupla other boogers talkin' 'bout this anonyBoogin'. Ol' Jerry Aldini whose real name is Matt has got hisself a boog story called People Are Not Their Arguments that's all on this here hot topic. An' my boogin' buddy JameseyBoy Bow has a big boog on the selfsame thing called Who Am I.

I figger this is the new media an' it's the wild west an' there ain't too many rules. So far, nobuddy sez I can't be JimBobby, the anonymous booger. I don't reckon I'm hurtin' nobuddy by havin' a secret identity an' like I sed to a few dumbasses who were growsin' 'bout my way o' writin' -
you don't like it, jest change the channel.

Yores trooly,
JimBobby

3 comments:

alsocanadian said...

I agree you should use your real name.
Mine is really aussicanadien.

Bloogers Byline said...

Ha dont use ma real name cuz folks laugh so last week Ihad it legaly changed from Jacky to Billy Shithead.So dere it is JB.

JimBobby said...

Whooee! BloogFeller, yer comment puts me in mind of an ol' timey joke I heard 30-odd years ago.

Two young brothers stole a car. The cops pull 'em over an' ask the drivin' kiddie his name. "Snotnose," he sez. The copper sez he don't believe'm an' he oughta smarten up. The little feller sez to his brother, "You tell'm, Shitferbrains."

JB