Monday, March 14, 2005

Too Much Dough fer a Delivery Boy

Whooee! Once in awhile I gotta pull my lazy ass away from this blasted computer. Most times when I gotta get up offa my keester, it's fer takin' ol' Spot fer a good ol' run down in the soybean field. Other times I jest move my lazyass inta the other room, park it in a different comfy chair an' turn on the yammerin' squawkbox TV.

Sum o' my faithful readers might remember that on rare occasions, I gotta go out an' do a job o' work. Lately, I been doin' a little nail-poundin' but mostly the cash money under the table work I do is delivery boy work. It don't pay much but it makes up fer that by bein' pretty much of a no-brain job. I don't even hafta drive most times.

AdScamper Delivery BoyNow this is a pitcher of a feller all wrapped up in this here AdScamper caper. Justus Gumper's doin' his damnedest t' get t' the bottom o' things an' lately it's been all about this here Lefleur outfit. The feller in the pitcher ain't me but he does have the selfsame job as me - delivery boy. I gotta see if I can get me some o' that sorta delivery work. This here feller delivered a piece o' paper t' another feller an' made hisself $112,500.
A report by the auditor general last year found Lafleur Communication took the commission for simply delivering a $750,000 cheque to Via Rail in early 2000 related to the rail carrier's sponsorship of the series.
(I lifted that bit from outta Yahoo News )
Yeow! A hunnert an' twelve grand fer delivering a $750,000 cheque over t' the train station! Sumpin' fishy's goin' on an this feller ain't lookin' too good. You can see he's been caught red-handed by jest lookin' at his left palm in yonder pitcher. That's jest a ripoff fer a delivery charge that high an' I wonder how in the Jeezuz they got away with chargin' that in the first place.

It probbly din't take that sumbitch more'n two shakes t' run that cheque over an' it ain't heavy an it ain't got any sharp corners like sum o' the TV's and cookstoves I slug fer ol' Gary at the TV an' fridge store. Sumtimes I work fer a good lookin' Polish gal who does upholsterin' work an' gets ol' JimBobby to help with one end of sofabed comin' out an' goin' back in. That little gal does a good job in the cushion stuffin' department, no two ways.

I don't put in too many heavy sluggin' hours in the delivery game but I know I'm workin' harder'n that feller jest carried the cheque across the street. On an extra busy week, I might hafta put in 15 hours but most times it's a lot less. Maybe 5 or 10. Now o' course everybody knows you don't make a livin' delivering TV's an' washin' machines an' fancy chesterfields. I gotta a few other irons in the fire that I ain't gonna say much 'bout an' o' course Ma's got the job at the massage joint where she rubs down all them horny fellers.

We get by jest fine an' I ain't thinkin' Gary or the Whatchamakowski gal is gonna bump up my wages none even if I show 'em what delivery boys get in Montreal. But - man-o-man - a hunnert thousand fer a delivery once or twice a year an' Ma an' I'd be in clover fer sure.

Yores trooly,

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