Thursday, March 10, 2005

A Guide t' Better Boogin'

Whooee! Lookin' at the title I gave this boog story, you might be thinkin' ol' JimBobby's gonna start dishin' out advice on boogin'. Shee-it! I ain't that much of a numbnuts. I know I'm jest a neo-fighter in the boogeysphere boxin' ring. NosireeBobby. I'm gonna point you at sumpin' I come across this mornin' where sum fellers an' gals down in Californie set up a wiki on bein' a better booger. (I'm already takin' sum o' the Californicators' advice an' my very first paragraph got right t' the point.)

Now them wikiwoos say you oughtn't steal nothin' an' you oughta give credit where credit's due. My ol' Pappy used t' say the selfsame things so before I blather anymore, I wanna give credit t' a bigtime mainstreet media feller who posted up a link to the wiki 'bout bein' a better booger. That fine feller is Bill Doskoch. Ol' Billfeller writes up stories fer ol' Lloydfeller Robertson's CTV an' he also has hisself a boog an' I look in on ol' BillyBoy's boog most days an' I put'm inta my ever-growin' boogroll that's developin' a case o' sidebarrhea.

Well, fellers an' gals, I left me a big ol' comment on Bill's boog this mornin' an' me bein' basically a lazyass, I figgered I'd copy most of it inta this boog story an' save myself sum typewritin'. So far, that ain't happenin' but I'm still gonna try that labour-savin' copy an' paste device. I ain't copying everythin' I sed t' ol' Bill but here's the main jist.

Anyways, t' make a short story long (here I go gettin' t' the point), the first part o' the wiki on writin' sez a good booger oughta get right down t' brass tacks an' shouldn't oughta make the boog readers wonder what in the Jeezuz yer blatherin' on about. That's the part I figger I'm not doin' so well.

The second part is called "Get comfortable" an' that's the part where I reckon I'm doin' better'n most. I ain't got me an Aeron chair on accounta I'm savin' up fer a minnyvan but my keester's planted in a purty good swiveller from outta the Staples store. (Dammit, I'm digressin'.) The wikiwoos is sayin' jest write it up like you talk an' I don't figger anybuddy's doin' that better'n ol' JimBobby an' if that's the way t' make yer mark an' become a bigtime A-list booger, well then I'm headed fer the top o' the heap.

I've had sum o' my thousands an' thousands o' JimBobby Sez boog readers pissin' an' moanin' 'bout it bein' a tuff ol' job t' read my way o' writin'. Mostly, that happens in the commentin' departments o' sum other boogs. Sum o' them other commentin' boogers is downright snippety; 'specially at that long-necked Andy Coyne's boog an' over at that numbnuts Ezra's Shotgun boog.

So here's my big plan. I can see sum lazy loafers is too busy or snooty-tooty t' bother with my possterfee-laden prose. I been thinkin' on puttin' up'n audio sound record where I read it out loud so's the lazy asses an' the pore damn illiterates don't hafta strain their puny brains or eyeballs.

I been doin' sum studyin' on this here podcastin' bizness an' I reckon I got all the ingredients 'ceptin' a website host where I can park them bigass mp3 yammerin' files. If anybuddy's still readin' an' got any good idees 'bout where t' park them JimBobby Sez it out loud files, chime inta the comments an' point yer finger fer me.

Howdja like that idee? Sound like it might be the ticket t' booger stardom an' untold wealth? (I asked that t' Billfeller in the comment that I'm pastin' here but my mind's wide open an' anybuddy can tell me what they think.)

The big troublem with my smartyass plan is that I like t' wander here an' there an' leave me sum well-considered an' thoughtful comments on other boogs an' this here audio stuff'd only work fer my own boog stories. Well, there's anuther fly in the ointment an' that's I'm a lazyass an' I'd be makin' a whole new job o' work fer myself. I'm wonderin' if it'd be worth the haff hour a day that it'd probbly take.

Yores trooly,
JimBobby

4 comments:

Babbling Brooks said...

You'd lose me - I read at work, with no sound.

JimBobby said...

Whooee! Thankee fer feedin' back, Babbler. I reckon I need them there boogin' lessons more'n I thought. I wasn't thinkin' o' puttin' up the podcast instead o' the write ups. I was thinkin' it'd be along with 'em. Thataway, the pore illiterates or the lazyasses wouldn't need t' bother themselves with decipherin' my scribbles. I reckon there might be one or two folks that wonder jest what ol' JimBobby sounds like when he sez what he sez, too.

I seen yer test scores over t' Andrew's Boundin' boog. Yer a tad smarter'n me by the looks of it. I reckon you don't need me readin' my writin' fer you but, don't fret, I ain't quittin'. Least not til I got a good six months in so's I can rub it inta Kinsellerfeller's face.

Yores trooly,
JimBobby

Dean said...

One place you can upload audio content is Zed. The registration form is here. Who knows, maybe this could be your big break into the mainstream media. If Zed likes your stuff you may get to be on TV.

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