Saturday, March 19, 2005

RCMP Always Gets Their Homeless Man

Whooee! I jest seen a story in the CBC that's set my blood t' boilin'. Mebbe I oughta saved this fer tomorrow's Outrage o' the Week but I can't wait t' get the bubblin' up bile flowin' inta words. The Canajun national horseyback ridin' police gotta motto 'bout themselves that sez they "always get their man". Looks like they ain't been doin' so shit hot in that department, lately, so they're settin' their sights a bit lower. The latest criminal masterminds that the RCMP got their gunsights aimed at are the pore damn dregs o' society homeless fellers an' gals who push around shoppin' carts loaded up with everythin' they own in the whole ding-dong world.

Lord thunderin' Jeezuz! We got eagle-murderers runnin' loose, terrists gettin' away with bombin' Air Indee airplanes, leftyLib AdScampers stealin' millions from the public purse, nutjob gun-lovers dealin' stolen car parts an' killin' coppers, punkass teenagers stealin' Chrysler Neons an' all sortsa dangerous rapers an' wife-beaters runnin' loose an' these numbnutses are goin' after a few pore damn bastards standin' out in the open with nuthin' but a shoppin' cart full o' junk.

KELOWNA, B.C. - Street people in the B.C. Interior city of Kelowna have been told by the RCMP they have until April 1 to surrender their shopping carts – or have them seized.

The police said the carts, worth up to $350 each, are stolen property. They said they're simply enforcing the law after complaints by the city and the business community.

But homeless people, who can often be seen trundling around Kelowna's downtown core with everything they own on the carts, said they're crucial for the survival.

Well, sez I, them bitchin' biznesses oughta be 'shamed.

Yores trooly,
JimBobby

3 comments:

Jon Dursi said...

You know, where I grew up, a lot of shopping carts got taken by high school and college kids, who then did things like riding them down small hills or kept them as trophies or used them to move stuff in the summer then discarded them. So the RCMP is going to crack down on these college kids, too, right?

I guess it's not like the RCMP has the discretion to ignore complaints; if they end up picking up some poor homeless guy and he has a shopping cart and the lawful owner has filed a complaint, the RCMP can't rightly pretend they don't see it. But if Kelowna has enough people homeless that local storeowners livelyhoods are threatened due to lack of shopping carts, then there's something else more important going on in Kelowna that needs dealing with.

Jon Dursi said...

So a newer version of the story makes it sound like it might not be as bad as originally reported

JimBobby said...

Whooee! I ain't so sure the drug dealer angle ain't jest some cover-yer-ass story come out after the massive shot o' bad PR they got from my little boog story an' it's thousands an' thousands o' incensed readers. The cops always use that excuse when they wanna roust vagrants or hippies or protesters.

Here's part o' that Globe story that's funny:

"Candy Sutherland, executive director of the Kelowna Drop-In Centre, said one of her clients spent a night in jail late last week for uttering threats after his shopping cart was either stolen by drug dealers or taken by police."

Yeow! They can't tell the cops from the dealers.

But it's like yer sayin', Jonfeller, there's more t' the story than first met our eyeballs.

JB