Monday, April 11, 2005

Outrage o' the Week

Whooee! I'm a day late on postin' up my Outrage o' the Week. Yesterday was Sunday an' the usual day fer me yammerin' on 'bout sumpin' that's pissed me off but it was such a fine day yesterday that I couldn't write up that sorta thing. It weren't that nuthin' pissed me off or that I was feelin' all dreamy an' floatin' on air. It was jest that with such a sunshiny day goin' on, Ma an' I hadta get out inta the yard an' do sum rakin' an' cleanin' an' baggin' up all sortsa leafs an' twigs an' about a million pine cones.

Well, the leaf bags is all stacked up an' I finally got myself a bit o' time fer scribblin' sum words 'bout what's got me chewin' nails an' fartin' tacks this week. It ain't much of a contest. That there Justus Gumper Show is what's got me burned. I jest hate t' see this great country o' Canadee fallin' inta the damn corruption gutter like sum sorta tin-pot dictatorship. Sum folks is sayin' we got ourselves a northern banana republic an' I reckon they ain't far off.

Yer always hearin' how the Liberals want t' regulate everything with tickets an' licenses an' regulations an' bureaus an' boards an' commissions an' advisory panels an' every sorta red tape they can think of fer doin' jest about anything from holdin' a church picnic t' openin' a lemonaid stand. With all their love fer regulations, you'da thought mebbe they mighta put sum strings on that there $250 million in sponsorship money they were handin' out.

But, nosirree. They dream up this cockamamie scheme t' win the hearts an' minds o' Q-beckers by plasterin' the ding-dong maple leaf onta everything from Olympic jockstraps t' Formula One race cars. Then they open up the public purse so's every crooked advertisin' racketeer in Q-beck an' Ottywa can line their greedy pockets an' it's all bein' done in the name o' keepin' Canadee together so nobuddy thinks anyone'll ask where the money went.

Now, the worstest part is jest startin' t' hit home. The whole stoopid sponsorship idee's got the Q-beckers so pissed off that they're probbly gonna elect more BlockHeads next election an' they'll probbly throw ol' Charest out on his ear, too, an' bring in the damned Parti Q-beckwah. Next thing, they'll be wantin' anuther dumbass referendum so the Q-beckers can say whether they wanta stay inside o' Canadee or else whether they wanta be a new independent country all by themselves.

Talk about incompetent nincompoops! Them dumbass Liberals with their gravy train AdScam might jest be the reason why the Q-Beckers vote t' quit Canadee. After that, who knows what other providence might up an' decide t' go it alone? I reckon the Alien Alberts out in the west are gatherin' up a head o' steam. Alls they need is fer the Q-Beckers t' leave the happy family o' confederation an' they'll be tryin' t' get the Alberts t' do the selfsame thing.

Mebbe Ontariariario'll be next after that an' thanks t' AdScampers like Jean Brault an' Groupaction an' Alphonso Gagliano, Canadee will be a thing o' the past. I figger the balkanization o' Canadee'll be the legacy that ol' Johnny Cretin built fer hisself.

Yores trooly,

1 comment:

Psychols said...

Alberta separatists are a small minority. They may be emboldened by a Quebec referendum but most of us here are loyal Canadians. If it ever became a "real" issue, there will be many fighting to remain in Canada.

A separate Alberta is viable only as long as there are oil revenues anyway. It is a bad idea floated by a few disgruntled voters who remain upset about the Liberals, equalization payments and the defunct NEP.