Friday, April 01, 2005

Invasion o' the Merkin Flyin' Squirrels

Homeland invadin' Merkin terrist flyin' squirrel Whooee! I jest seen a story in the CTV News that's set my ol' teeth on edge. As if we ain't got enuff vermin rodents chewing their way inta our houses and homeland, now we got a new variety comin' across the border from Merka. It ain't the glowball warmin' oven or loss o' habitat that's chased this here flyin' rat up t' Canadee. It's sum idjit human bein's who think the varmint is educational.

Rats ain't pets, sez I, flyin' or white or brown or black or grey. But when this little Sabrina (ain't she cute?), the hoosier flyin' furball, got the OK from the immigration fellers, it was fer educational purposes an' not fer bein' sumbuddy's dumb idee of a pet. That's all we need. A damn cutie-pie Mata Hari Yankee flyin' squirrel teachin' its terrist tactics t' our own Canajun bushy-tailed rats.

As fer my own little war on squirrels, I reckon the damn squirrel's winnin'. We had the trap set fer a coupla weeks an' fer a few days, we din't hear a thing. Lately, the critter's been stirrin' a little 'bout 6 in the mornin'. Other'n that, we ain't been hearin' any scrabblin' in between the walls. Mebbe it'll get louder when the younguns are born. Yeow!

Yores trooly,
JimBobby

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Well, jimbobby, haven't tried it but I hear uncooked rice works real well for the little critter's. Supposedly it expands in their stomachs and well you get the picture. Personally I'd just take a 12 guage with a wide spread and you shouyld hit the little bugger.