Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Humans - 1 , Squirrel - 0

Whooee! Well friends, I'm gonna do a little o' what they call personal boogin' as opposed t' the usual polytickle stuff I been yammerin' on 'bout, lately. I ain't wrote anythin' 'bout squirrels lately an' that's on accounta I ain't had any recent troublems with bushy-tailed rats fer a while.

I still ain't had any troublems but ol' Steve an' Kathy who live two doors down had sum troublems with a dang squirrel today an' they called on the squirrel-fightin' expertise of ol' JimBobby t' help 'em in their hour o' need. SteveFeller gimme a call late this afternoon an' he sed he's got hisself a bushytail in the ol' chimney hole down in the basement. I sprung inta action an' gathered up sum o' my squirrel gear -- a live trap an' a long-handled reachy thing that's made fer pickin' up keys an' kleenexes offa the floor an' not fer grabbin' squirrels but mebbe it'd work.

SteveMan slid a piece wood from over that chimney hole an' danged if the varmint weren't settin' right there lookin' us eyeball t' eyeball. He put the cover back quicklike an' we all three of us had a bigass confab 'bout what sorta tactic we oughta try. I was mostly fer settin' the live trap an' waitin' over night fer the sumbitch t' get hisself caught. That'd be my easiest way out, fer sure.

The next easiest way'd be t' get a 22 an' shoot the vermin. Steve's sorta like ol' Spot an' he ain't got the killer instinct, even when it comes t' executin' a bigass rodent that's invaded yer home. I din't spend much time tryin' t' convince them two that killin' the little sumbitch'd be sorta like trappin' a mouse under the sink. There weren't gonna be any death in the afternoon this afternoon.

Ol' Steve had hisself a good idea. He got a plastic laundry basket an' we held that up t' the hole an' slid the board off. Whooee! Steve dragged the little critter inta the basket usin' a stick with anuther stick stuck t' the end sorta like a little hoe.

First time, the varmint jumped back in the chimney hole on accounta we din't slide the basket down quick enuff. Next time, we did an' danged if the three of us din't get that bushytail all closed up in the laundry basket with a board overtop.

Turned out the little feller was sorta dozy an' slow. He mighta been there a while an' not had any food or water 'cept there was also a dead bird there an' he mighta been nibblin' on that. We carried him out an' turned him loose on the sidewalk where the snow weren't deep. He walked away down the sidewalk an' we went back inside fer a few refreshments an' self-congratulations an' then I ranted at 'em a little 'bout polyticks.

I'm chalkin' this one up as a winnin' battle fer the good guys in the humans versus rodent invaders war.

Yores trooly,

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