Terrorist Trees Infiltratin' Canadee

Whooee! Over t' StageLeft, my boogin' buddy Balbulican's got hisself a boog story 'bout trees puttin' the kibosh on King Steve's softwood sellout. I left me a comment there an' jest like the lazyass I am, I'm pastin' that there comment in here fer my boog story.

I reckon it might jest be a co-inkydink but there’s been a few trees fallin’ down on Canajuns an’ killin’ ‘em, lately. Them trees is notorious fer causin’ property damage, too. How ’bout we get the gummint t’ declare trees is a terrist organization an’ ban ‘em from Canadee?

Them trees has been contributin’ t’ evil-doin’ fer ages, too. When ol’ Jayzus was nailed t’ the cross, whaddya reckon that there cross was made outta? Sum sorta tree, that’s what. An’ who ain’t heard o’ the Cedars o’ Lebanon? It ain’t jest anuther co-inkydink that there’s a pitcher of a tree on the Lebanese flag. Them Lebanese trees is hezballers, no two ways. What about that there “Cedar Revolution”? Trees rabble-rousin’, as usual.

Nobuddy likes shady characters an’ trees is ’bout as shady as they come.

Sum o’ the worst trees is them with dual citizenship like the Norway Spruce, Japanese Maple, American Elm an’ Scotch Pine. Who can trust ‘em if they won’t break their ties t’ the old country? Who needs ‘em bringin’ their ancient quarrels over t’ Steve’s peaceable kingdom?

An’ don’t even get me started on Africa. They call it the Dark Continent on accounta all the shade in them there jungles.

It also ain’t no co-inkydink that trees is where bushy-tailed ratsquirrels make their nests an’ organize their terrist cells with their feller-traveler raccoons.

Yores trooly,
JimBobby