Monday, January 22, 2007

A Farting Horse Will Never Tire, A Farting Man's the Man to Hire

Whooee! Cow farts an' horse farts is in the news an' that remindered me o' that ol' farmer's sayin' I used fer my title. The title ain't got much t' do with my boog story jest like the headlines in the Trawna Sun ain't got much t' do with their stories.

I get the Trawna Sun delivered t' my door every Sunday. It started comin' 'bout a year ago. I never ordered it an' nobuddy ever asked if I wanted it or if I'd pay fer it. I guess it's so bad they gotta give it away.

Yesterday, there was a 'pinion piece in the Comment section by Greg Weston. It was on GHG's an' the printed headline an' subhead both alluded t' the cow farts. I see they ain't runnin' the same headlines in the online version. In the article, Weston sez cow farts make up less than 3% o' Canadee's GHG emissions. If anybuddy read the headline but din't bother readin' the whole story, they'd think cows was a big part o' the climate troublems.

Fartin' ain't the onliest thing wrong with cows, though. Down in Brazil, they're choppin' down the rain forrest so's t' make more cowpastures. Before the cows even let the teensiest fart, they're the cause o' troublems in the dead-trees-don't-eat-CO2 department.

I seen sumbuddy who sed sumpin' 'bout the bigass herds o' bison that roamed the plains an' howcum their fartin' din't cause such troublems. Mebbe there was more bison then than there are cattle now. Mebbe not. Anybuddy know? I betcha when them buffalo was roamin', there was more forrests in North Merka gobblin' up CO2.

The big producers o' GHG's is the electricity generators, the oil an' gas industry an' vehicles. We can cut down on electricity used through reduction, conservation an' adoption o' more efficient technologies like CF light bulbs. We can put more hybrid vehicles on the road t' cut down on the need fer oil. We can insulate an' weather-proof our houses an' use less gas fer heatin'.

There's plenty o' good things we can do that don't involve swearin' off hamburgers an' milkshakes.

Yores trooly,


bigcitylib said...

Is that a real proverb or did you make that up? (Very funny)

JimBobby said...

Whooee! It's a real proverb, BigCity. I heard it fer the first time 'bout 20-odd years ago when I was on the CairoCracker's table an' he crunched my spine an' squeezed one outta me. The CairoCracker weren't Egyptian but he come from a farm in Ontariariario. He told me his ol' Pappy used that sayin' as a rule fer hirin' farmhands.


jlawler said...

This couplet was composed by the late science fiction novelist Jack Vance as one of the poems of a character (Navarth, "the mad poet") in his novel "The Palace of Love", the third of his 'Demon Princes' series of 5 adventure novels. More of his poems are available on the Web, for instance