Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Varmints!

Whooee! Jayzuz Flickerin' Christmastree! We ain't had any varmints invadin' the homestead fer a spell but dang it there's sumpin' under the dinin' room.

Ma'd already gone beddy-bye last night when I heard sum scratchin' an' clawin'. Turned out, she heard it, too. Well, I gotta figger out what t' do again. I got me what's called a partial basement in my 125 year-old shack. Most of it's a decent ol' basement but parts is only boarded-up crawlspaces an' anything wants in, they jest gotta get past some thin plywood. One time, we had a damn squirrel walk upstairs an' inta the dinin' room. Sum fun fer the dog. Yeow!

I'm tryin' t' screw up my nerve an' come up with a plan. I got me a live trap big enuff fer a coon. I could set a regular rat trap. I got one o' them, too. I could try the ultra-sonic annoyer-repeller again. I think I still got one that I tried that didn't work worth a shit. I ain't got a gun but I reckon one o' the naybers probbly does. I ain't keen on shootin' off guns inside the house.

Whatever I do means clearin' a path past god-knows-what-all behind the furnace t' get t' the crawlspace openin'.

Wish me luck, friends. I'm up against sum badass rodents or mebbe even a bigass racoon.

Yores trooly,
JimBobby

2 comments:

stageleft said...

A war on raccoons? OY, sounds like you got yourself a battle there, tree rats are one thing, they just ain't that bright - raccoons are smart and got a warped sense of humour when it comes to us two leg types.

Maybe get yourself a big cat, a BOB-cat (hehehe, I slay myself, I really do) even... that'll take care of the problem :-)

JimBobby said...

Whooee! Well, it turns out it's a damn squirrel. The bushy-tailed sumbitch jest come up outta the basement an' ol' Spot had'm jumpin' all over the cupboards an' shelves knockin' down Ma's priceles knick-knacks. Spot's got 'im cornered in a little cupbard in the basement. When teh fun began this mornin', I was still in my bathrobe worryin' the bushy-tailed rat'd run up my leg. Yeow!

JB