Whooee! Well, back on Friday, ol' Timmy the G's Voice in the Wilderness was askin' what sorta super hero sum boogers might be if all of a sudden they was t' get whatever super powers they wanted. TimFeller wondered what kinda super hero a hillbilly hick might wanna be an' I give it sum thought. Now, I ain't been ponderin' over it since Friday. I only jest seen the question last night before I went t' bed an' I tossed 'round fer a minute or two before goin' sleepy-bye.
I reckon I'd like t' have super powers o' persuasion. PersuaderMan'd be my super hero handle. With super persuasion powers, I figger I could persuade all the other super heroes t' do my biddin' an' it'd be like I was Gumner General over all o' the super heroes.
If I had super persuasion power, I'd be able t' persuade sum o' the numbnutses who's doin' dumbass stuff t' open up their dumbass eyeballs an' smarten up. I'm talkin' 'bout numbnutses like Robert Mugabe an' that Korean feller with the funny haircut an' Ol' Sammy BinLaden an' ol' Georgie Dubya an' PollyWolly Fartin' Martin an' Stevie Harpoon. If I could persuade them fellers t' use commonsense an' stop all the fightin' an' warrin' an' killin' an' abusin', I reckon that'd be a good use fer my super powers.
I'd be able t' persuade all o' the wife beaters an' child abusers t' quit their lowdown ways. I'd be able t' persuade all the vicious pitbulls t' be gentle as lambs. I'd persuade all the remembers o' parliment t' leave off worryin' 'bout pot smokers an' start in worryin' 'bout hungry kiddies here in Canadee an' all 'round the world. I'd persuade the rotten separatists in Q-beck an' Alberty that Canadee is the bestest country in the world an' they oughta pull together instead o' tryin' t' pull us apart.
I'd also persuade Catwoman to join a three-in-a-manger with Ma an' me.