Whooee! Well friends, I ain't a Liberal Party member or supporter so I ain't weighed in much on this here leadership race they got goin' on down in Montreal. Now that it's down t' the wire, I'm throwin' in my two-cents-worth.
I hope Iggy don't win. There's a couplafew others I hope don't win, too, so I ain't one o' these Anybody But Iggy guys. Guys like Volpe don't stand a chance anyways so I ain't gonna worry much 'bout them gettin' in. I do gotta worry 'bout Ig gettin' in an' I sure as hell don't like the idea.
First off, I better tell why I think it matters who rides herd on the Grits. The way the 'pinion polls is goin', the Liberals got a dang good chance o' gettin' back in power. That means whoever they got on the top o' their heap could end up as Canadee's next pryminister. That's howcum I give two shits an' howcum I don't wanna see an egghead expatriate leadin' the Liberals.
Igster jest ain't liberal enuff, sez I. I can't get past the way he backed up Dubya's illegal invasion of EyeRack. An' when he mushes up his words an' purty much gives his seal of approval t' torturin', well, how can he even be a contender?
Ignatieff ain't in touch with Canadee. He's been settin' up in that ivory tower down in Boston, Massachusettes, USA fer 'bout 30 years. Even if he sez he was always payin' attention t' what's happenin' in Canadee, it ain't the same as livin' here. An' it ain't like he was sum sorta exile. He left Canadee fer greener pastures an' fame an' glory.
I got me a nayber who useta be a Merkin. He an' his kin moved here 'bout the same time as Iggy moved t' Merka, 30-odd years ago. My nayber's a newshound - mebbe even more'n me. I asked ol' Bob if he'd ever move back down south. He sed he don't feel like a Merkin anymore an' if he was t' move back t' his home an' native land, he'd feel like a foreigner. Merkins use words like "foreigner" more'n Canajuns so I reckon he ain't completely cured, yet.
I figger it's the same fer Iggy. He's been away so long he's sorta like a foreigner. There ain't nuthin' wrong with foreigners but they oughta pay sum dues before they wanna be pryminister, sez I.
A fight between Iggy an' Harpoon'd be a battle o' the eggheads an' I don't reckon too many real-life Canajuns wanna listen t' 6 weeks o' that sorta crappola. Anyway, with all his war-lovin', torture-condonin' an' Q-beck asskissin', Iggy ain't the right guy fer the job.