Five Weird Things 'bout JimBobby

Whooee! Well friends, I ain't been puttin' my peterpointer t' the 'puter enuff, lately. A coupla my boogin' buddies is out t' make work fer ol' JimBobby an' they tagged my ass in this here boogin' game where the tagged booger's got t' tell everybuddy 5 offbeat things 'bout his sorry self. The fellers who tagged me was Ricky Barnes an' Billfeller Doskoch. Thankee, fellers.

Here goes:

1. I start in wearin' the long Stanfields in October an' leave off with the longies an' go back t' jest wearin' the briefs in March.
   
   
2. I ain't afraid o' Stephen Harper. Sum folks don't probbly figger there's anything weird 'bout that. Well, I can tell you fer a fact (I sorta stole that "fer a fact" stuff from Polly Wolly Fartin' Martin) that here in the wild hinterlands o' southwestern Ontariariario, there's lotsa folks who sez they ARE scared o' the HarpoonTosser. The reason I ain't all shaky 'bout the prospects o' Harpoon's numbnutses gettin' elected is on accounta I got sum faith in Canajuns. Sure, we might get a Conservative gummint fer a spell but, dangit, there's still gonna be enuff social pergressives t' stop the pontificators from turnin' back the clock. The dirty Grits need a whippin', too, an' the onliest ones who can turf 'em offa the hill is the throwbacks.
   
   
3. Speakin' o' throwbacks, I got similar eatin' habits t' ol' Spot my coalie dog. Ol' Spot eats from north t' south. If you was t' look at his bowl when he's half-done eatin' you'd see the north half is clean as a whistle an' the south half ain't been touched yet. Ma sez he takes after me an' she might be right 'cept I eat my supper from south t' north. When I go out on nail-poundin' jobs, I always try t' be systematic an' thorough. I reckon that's what I'm doin' with the plate o' beans, too.
   
   
4. I walk funny an' my toes point in on accounta my feet is sorta banana-shaped an' I gotta hard time findin' shoes an' boots t' fit my goofy feet.
   
   
5. The weirdest thing 'bout JimBobby is that I don't really exist 'cept in the Canajun boogeysphere. That gets sorta extra weird when I'm settin' here wonderin' if JimBobby don't really exist, then who in the hell is sayin' so? That sorta brings in all sortsa metaphysics an' also sum stray thoughts concernin' multiple personality disorder. Hmmm... mebbe I oughta leave off on the early-mornin' dope smokin'.
   

Okay, that's sum o' the weird things 'bout JimBobby. Now, I can do sum taggin' o' my own an' I'm taggin' Rick Mercer. Mercer's boog don't allow comments so I ain't sure if he'll know he's been tagged. If any o' my thousands o' readers wanna mention t' Mercerfeller that I tagged his sorry ass, jest send an email over t' rick@rickmercer.com.

Yores trooly,
JimBobby