Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Killin' the Job

Whooee! I jest read a CP story in the Yahoo News 'bout the gang o' four bigass party leaders jumpin' inta the fast lane an' gettin' sum work done. Alls it took was t' lock ol' Fartin Martin, the CheeseHat, the HarpoonTosser an' ol' HappyJack inside of an Airbus 310 fer 'bout seven hours.
OTTAWA (CP) - Prime Minister Paul Martin and the three federal party leaders reached an agreement late Monday night to fast-track a new $1-billion veterans charter through the Commons.

The surprise deal came after the politicians received some poor reviews from Second World War veterans at Victory in Europe anniversary celebrations. Martin, NDP Leader Jack Layton, Gilles Duceppe of the Bloc Quebecois and Conservative Stephen Harper sealed the deal during their return flight to Ottawa from the Netherlands.
When I first seen that, I wondered how Harpoon an' the BlocHead coulda signed on if they're set on knockin' down the LeftyLib gummint 'round 5:30 this afternoon. Later on in the story, they sez the four horsemen got it settled so's the whole deal'll get passed through the parliment this week.

Shee-it! These lazyasses been screwin' the pooch fer the past year-an'-a-haff. They know how t' work. They jest ain't been doin' any.

When yer out on the jobsite poundin' nails or yer drivin' a truck or workin' in the field or servin' up coffee at Timmy's, sumbuddy's payin' yer wages. Settin' 'round arguin' an' fightin' amongst t'other workers an' not gettin' nuthin' done ain't what yer gettin' paid fer. Same thing goes fer remembers o' parliment. An' Canajuns is the ones who's payin' the wages.

Back in ancient times when ol' JimBobby was still young JimBobby, I had me a few jobs o' work an' mostly I'd be workin' long side o' fellers who was older an' more wise in the ways o' the world than me. Them fellers taught me a few things 'bout workin' fer wages. Mostly what I learnt was good, I reckon, but they taught me one thing I ain't so sure about.

When yer young an' fit an' rosy-cheeked, yer energy's up high an' when sumbuddy's payin' yer wages, yer rarin' t' give 'em yer all. The old-timers an' also the union stews don't like when they see sum punkass 20 year-old workin' fast. They gotta name fer that sorta thing an' in case you ain't heard it before, it's "killin' the job."

"Don't kill the job, kid."

Firstest time I remember sumbuddy sayin' that was when I was workin' in a steel-rollin' mill. A feller come up behind me when I was tong-tossin' some pieces o' hot steel inta a big ol' hopper. I was so green I looked at that feller all pie-eyed an' asked him what the hell was he talkin' 'bout. I din't know what "kill the job" meant. I was jest workin' as best as I could. An' that there was the whole problem. The feller told me how he was the union guy fer that part o' the mill an' if the foreman sees sumbuddy workin' too hard, he's gonna want everybuddy to work jest as hard an' that ain't how it's sposed t' be.

I weren't so stoopid that I din't catch on once that feller spelled it all out. A few more times when I was still a young feller workin' here an' there, an older but wiser feller whispered that selfsame advice in my ear when they seen me workin' too fast fer their likin'. Now that I'm an older an' wiser feller, nobuddy tells me that any more. I reckon, that's on accounta I don't get movin' too fast these days.

Well, gettin' back t' them four fellers who showed Canajuns what they can do if they set their minds to it, I reckon we're the foremen an' the polyticians is the lazyasses who been slackin' off. Now, they went an' killed the job. They showed their bosses what they can do an', dammit, we oughta start expectin' that sorta hard work from here on out.

I reckon mebbe there's a formula fer gettin' an honest day's work outta these Ottywa polyticians.
  1. Firstest thing, load 'em inta a bus. It don't needta be an Airbus jest so long as they're all aboard an' they can't get out fer a few hours. Better load sum mainstreet media folks in the bus, too, jest t' keep an eye on 'em fer their bosses (that's us).
  2. Next thing, make 'em stand up in front of a buncha Canajuns who's deservin' respect, like all them there veterans over in Yerp. Make 'em lissen t' what's grievin' them good folks.
  3. Then, stick 'em back in the bus fer a few more hours. Toss in the MSM fellers an' gals, too.
  4. Wait one week an' yer new legislation'll get passed through parliment slicker'n juice through a goose.
Then, jest do the selfsame thing over again every week. I reckon if the remembers o' parliment get a big 4 weeks holidays, they oughta be able to repeat this here routine 48 times a year. If the MP's think it's too hard, they only got their bossmen t' blame fer killin' the job.

Yores trooly,

No comments: