Friday, February 10, 2006

To the Barricades!

Whooee! Well friends, we got us a bigass troublem in the democratic deficit department. Shee-it! It ain't jest a deficit. It's bankruptcy. We got us a new gummint that ain't got ant respect fer votin' Canajuns. We got us a pryminister who's thumbin' his big beak at each an' every one of us. We got us a new minster who was "obviously very disillusioned" with the Liberals, accordin' t' PeteyBoy Mackay. Horsepuckey, sez I. Emerson sez he woulda stayed a Grit if the Grit woulda won. That sure as hell don't sound like he was all disillusioned.

An' we got Stevie Wonderboy appointin' polytickle backroom boy Mikefeller Fortier t' the Senate. I thought Harpoon sed Fortier was gonna run in sum by-election soon but Fortier sez he ain't got any intention o' goin' through the hassle o' runnin' fer a seat. Hell! Why should he? Our dictator-in-chief sez this whole votin' thing don't really mean nuthin'.

Over in Ukraine a couple years back, they had a bad case o' election fraud. The voters voted one way but the gummint sed they wasn't gonna get their way. That started up a little thing called the Orange Revolution. I reckon Canajuns might needta have a Orange Revolution of our own if the HarpoonTossers don't smarten up.

Emerson's gotta resign. He's outta touch with reality. He can try his luck in a by-election. I'm not bettin' on him.

Fortier's gotta run in a by-election. I wouldn't bet on him, neither.

Pallister's gotta come clean on his expenses an' whether he's been usin' the wrong money fer fundin' his provincial leadership campaign.

O'Conner's gotta smooth sum feathers in the lobbyist-as-minister department.

Harpoon's gotta tell Canajuns he's sorry as hell he din't pay any attention t' what they voted fer an' he's gonna start doin' all the clean an' different changifyin' he sed he was gonna do.

If Harpoon won't set up an' notice when there's thousands o' Canajun signatures on multiple petitions then the onliest thing left is fer democracy-lovin' Canucks t' take t' the streets. Let's give 'em till Spring springs in Ottywa.

Yores trooly,

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Jesus Cartoons

Whooee! Well friends, there's a shitstorm ragin' an' it's all 'bout sum dumbass cartoons. I heard lotsa fellers say that they seen all sortsa Jesus cartoons an' it din't bother 'em any an' there weren't any embassies burnt down on accounta Jesus cartoons. I reckon that's on accounta Jesus was a turn-the-other-cheek sorta feller an' these other guys is more death-to-the-infidels types.

I ain't got too much t' say 'bout the Danish cartoons or the shitstorm they started. It might be better if the Danish fellers stick t' makin' them there pastries. I reckon the ovens'll be hot enuff in them embassies.

So, I found me a few Jesus cartoons an' I figger I'll share 'em here an' see if anybuddy's embassy gets burned down.







Well, I only got a haff-dozen an' the Danish pastry boys had a whole 12 so mebbe the reaction t' these won't be so big.

Yores trooly,

Same Old, Same Old...

Whooee! Well friends an' foes, I reckon ol' Stevie Harpoon done dropped his spear an' stabbed hisself in the foot on his very firstest day as Pryminister o' Canadee. Shee-it!

I thought I heard the HarpoonTosser say accountability was gonna be top priority when the he moved inta the driver's seat. Turns out he was only foolin'. Where's the accountability fer Michael Fortier? Nobuddy elected Fortier as dog-catcher or anything else but Harpoon went an' appointed the CPC campaign backroom boy t' the Retirement Home fer Friends o' Pryministers, the Senate o' Canadee. Harpoon was all against appointin' Senators an' greasy backroom wheelie-deals when he was on the outside throwin' stones at Fartin' Martin. Now, he's makin' unelected CPC bigwigs cabinet ministers an' he's doin' it by appointin' 'em t' the ding-dong senate.

Canadee's electoral system ain't perfect, by a long stretch, but one thing we oughta have goin' fer us is knowin' we gotta sum say at the ballot box. Fortier jest got hisself inta a powerful cabinet post without campaignin' an' without a single Canajun castin' a vote fer his sorryass. I sez it makes ol' JimBobby's blood boil when I see Harpoon actin' all dictator-like. Yeow!

An' what about this here David Emerson bullshit? Crimony sakes, the numbnuts was elected by dumbass Liberal voters t' represent 'em. Now, he's turned inta sumpin' he was all against an' the pore Vancouver voters is s'posed t' set there an' take it on the chin. I'm wonderin' sumpin' I heard sum other fellers wonderin' 'bout. When, exactly, did Harpoon an' Emerson start talkin' turkey? Was the treachery happenin' before the election? Was there a firm offer t' Emerson of a cabinet post if he danced across the floor? Did he act on principles or is he an opportunistic whore? Did anybuddy make a secret recordin' o' the negotiations? If he ain't gonna represent them that voted fer 'im, who is he accountable to?

Last time I posted up a boog story, I sed I was gonna wait fer sum dust t' settle before makin' any judgments on the HarpoonTossers. Well, sum dust has cleared an' the new guys is lookin' a lot like the old guys - jest not as experienced. Give 'em time. Reminds me o' ol' Georgie Orwell's Animal Farm story where they end up not bein' able t' tell the difference 'tween pigs an' people.

Yores trooly,