Saturday, July 30, 2005

Marijuana: Gateway Drug for U.S. Lawmen in Canada

Whooee! Dang it! I'm pissed off. I seen this on the Lloyd Robertson TV News Show last night an' I jest read all 'bout it on the CTV.ca. I also seen a CP story in the Yahoo News. The dang Merkins has got Canajun lawmen jumpin' t' their orders an' enforcin' Merkin laws right here in Canadee. The Merkin DEA is gettin' coast t' coast cooperation from Canajun coppers an' they arrested the leader o' the B.C. Marijuana Party.

Now, mebbe yer not a pot smoker an' mebbe you don't figger it makes any difference t' you if the Merkins got Canajun coppers enforcing Merkin laws on Canajun soil. It brings t' mind an' ol' protest song by Phil Ochs called A Small Circle of Friends. Here's a verse --

Smoking marijuana is more fun than drinking beer,
But a friend of ours was captured and they gave him thirty years.
Maybe we should raise our voices, ask somebody why,
But demonstrations are a drag, besides, we're much too high,
And I'm sure it wouldn't interest anybody
Outside of a small circle of friends.

These anti-pot numbnutses is always sayin' pot is a gateway drug. By that, I take 'em t' mean they figger if yer smokin' reefer, it's a gateway t' movin' up t' crack or smack. Gateway, schmateway. JimBobby sez -- bullshit. I been tokin' fer more years'n some o' my boog readers been alive. I ain't had the urge t' jab a needle in my arm, yet. The fellers I bought my pot from over the past couple decades never once asked if I wanted sum heroin or coke.

But I reckon the "gateway" thing is true in one respect. When Canajun lawmen start workin' on the orders o' the Merkins, they're openin' up a gateway. That gateway is lettin' more'n' more Merkin laws affect Canajuns right inside Canadee. If Canadee's gonna turn inta the 51st state, it shouldn't oughta be the coppers who hand over sovereignty t' the Yanks. I don't remember any referendumb askin' if I wanted t' be ruled by the Merkins.

Bustin' pot dealers is the tip o' the iceberg. They got the Canajuns handin' over the passenger lists on non-stop airplane rides from Trawna t' Vancouver jest on accounta that there airplane flies over sum Merkin territory on its way. The Merkin Department o' Homeland Security jest set up an' office in Trawna, too.

If the Merkins start enforcin' the U.S. Patriot Act here in Canadee, the Canajun boogeysphere's in fer troublems, no two ways. I reckon they could haul my sorry ass off without layin' any charges or settin' any trial date jest fer the anti-Merkin stuff I wrote in this here boog story. If yer thinkin' that couldn't happen, jest ask the 3 pore bastards the Canajun police is holdin' in custody on Merkin orders.

Yores trooly,
JimBobby

3 comments:

P. M. Jaworski said...

Yup, a big deal. Let me know if you write anything, princess monkey. I'll post the letter somewhere if it's good. We're in the process of putting together freemarcemery.com, so check back on it every once in a while.

Lew Scannon said...

As an Merkin myself,I am truly shamed by my coumtries action. Clean up your own backyard, I always say. But unfortunately, the American backyard is full of holes for it's people to hide their heads in (except for the pinheads who can hide their heads up a convenient bodily orifice).
But, I would have to disagree with you. Marijuana is a gateway drug. Eventually, it leads to harder drugs, like alcohol and nicotine.

JimBobby said...

Whooee! Thankee fer chimin' in, fellers an' gals.

I see this engine's buildin' up a head o' steam. I see folks is writin' letters t' Irwin Cotler an' the boogeysphere bristlin' with righteous indignation. I ain't seen anybuddy who thinks it was a good idee t' allow Merkin coppers t' call the shots in Canadee. I reckon there's probbly a few numbnutses who'll side with the Merkins against Canadee. There's always sum sycophants who wanna kiss Merkin ass.

JB